Everyone owns a few DVDs that they might be embarrassed — nay, humiliated to admit to. With this in mind I have decided to take a stand and say “Yes, I own that copy of (insert name of cringe worthy DVD here) and I am damn proud of it.”

There is a general feeling (rightly or wrongly) that reviewers opinions carry more weight, or indeed any weight with the general movie-going public. I like the think that the work done by the FSR covert operations team leads to some turkeys being exposed and true heroes being revealed, but we can’t always get them right, nor can any other reviewer. The Longest Yard was roundly chastised yet went on to make over $150 million, go figure.

However, I want you to put that last paragraph out of your mind and simply accept that we all make dodgy choices and now I, like Clinton before me will just grow a pair (though I don’t think growing a pair was his problem) and start listing my indiscretions.

Galaxy Quest
I watched Star Trek as a kid and as an adult have sense enough to be hugely amused by some of the — well lets call it acting, and stories put forward. Galaxy Quest parodies these brilliantly and while I’m not a fan of Tim Allen, Rickman is lots of fun and Sigourney Weaver looks pretty hot. Plus it features Tony Shalhoub of Monk fame and you don’t get funnier than him. Nothing to dislike here so stop your sniggering.

Freddy Versus Jason
Right, no matter what anyone says this was outstanding. And here is why, it should be total shit. The story hangs together well and gives both characters an opportunity to shine and bring their ‘styles’ developed in their own series. Most important of all, the story doesn’t feature any of the painful weaknesses that hurt the Horror Genre. How it begins is believable (well not believable per se….you know what I mean) and it follows a logical course throughout to the hugely satisfying conclusion. I regularly recommend this to Horror lovers as an example of how ‘Versus’ movies should be handled. Take note AvP.

The Shadow
People often lump this in with hero flops like The Phantom which is terribly unfair. The period is impeccably presented and while it is obvious some of the sets are painted it doesn’t detract overmuch. The interplay between Baldwin and Miller is fun and engaging and they seem to have genuine chemistry. Okay Tim Curry plays Tim Curry but Ian McKellan is good as Margot’s doting father and the action is exciting throughout. Well worth a watch.

Arachnophobia
This is just great fun. Jeff Daniels as a serious comedy hero in as believable a role as I have ever seen. The general creepiness is established and maintained throughout and while the premise is utterly ludicrous (Giant killer spider mater with little spider, bah) it keeps you on the edge of your seat, as well as looking under it. A solid supporting cast crackle against one another, John Goodman in particularly good form. Worthy of an evening in with a loved one, unless your loved one is a pet spider.

Mystery Men
How this didn’t get a better reception I will never know. Ben Stiller is a lot of things but one can’t ever claim he is afraid to try a new role. Roy or ‘Mr Furious’ is hilarious throughout and while some of it is standard Stiller fare it is still very enjoyable. Supporting actors like Hank Azaria and William H. Macy complete the primary trio and compliment one another nicely. Geoffrey Rush and Greg Kinnear are painfully mismatched as Casanova Frankenstein and Captain Amazing respectively. Think of a live action Incredibles and you might get a feeling for what they were going for here. I have never failed to watch it and laugh.

Tremors
Just a great early 90s horror film, featuring Bacon who could still draw a crowd and Ward who is yet to play a character I haven’t found entertaining. Hey, it had 2 sequels and a prequel, it can’t be that bad okay?

Tranformers The Movie (1986)
I actually hated this, but Optimus Prime dies which is pretty monumental. Own it for that alone.

Kung Pow
Frankly this film should be able to split the population of the Earth in two, people that think it is the funniest thing since that video of me naked hit YouTube and people who loathe it. I count myself as one of the former (though that video of me is pretty funny) and look forward to the sequel coming out in 2008. Best watched with a group of friends and a crate of beer.

Land of the Dead
The reason I like this is the same reason I liked 28 Days Later and despised 28 Weeks Later, it’s a survival horror. There are dozens upon dozens of films out there where we get to see a group winnowed to a single or pair of survivors you could have picked the moment they are introduced but films where the primary characters survive because they DESERVE to is a rare thing indeed. Hopper and Leguizamo recover sufficiently from Super Mario Brothers to be on the same side this time and it’s entertaining to watch. A suitable end to the Zombie franchise Romero worked so hard to create.

This list isn’t exhaustive, just a sampling of films I have had the shame of showing to friends and family alike while trying to stammer out excuses, much like the time that bus full of nuns broke down outside my house and when one asked to use my bathroom found it littered with depraved pornography. Mainly because in both cases I was called an evil child.


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