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Boiling Point: Movie Posters!!!

Every day when I drive home from work I am confronted with a four foot tall poster of a half naked John C. Reilly. And I’ve had enough. Not of John C. Reilly. Not of posters. Not even of half naked men. Wait, forget that last one. But I am sick and tired of this current trend of movie posters. Everyone complains about the repetitive nature of films these days, and the remake trend, and this and that – but it’s worse than even you know. Open your eyes! See the pain!

How many things are wrong with this? Too many to count, it’s kind of gross. But hey, the studio said its funny because…

Knocked Up made so much money! And this was the poster! Look, it’s the main character with a whimsical look on his face. How can you not laugh at this? Hey, do you remember that other movie, what was it called…

Oh yeah! Here it is! This poster is actually genuinely hilarious. It deserves most of the credit for this spawn of repeat posters, though I will trace it back to what I feel is probably true Ground Zero in a moment. This poster really worked for the film because of the character. This is a really accurate representation of Steve Carrell’s character. But before we praise it anymore…

Let’s not forget it spawned this horrible poster campaign with its success. This poster has nothing to do with this flop of a movie (Stop Dane Cook!). But, hey, some other movies used this poster and it worked fine for them. Gosh!

We’re getting closer to Patient Zero. This poster is one step removed from what I consider the origin of all these posters. 40 Year Old Virgin may have put a real shot of juice into this “style” but the origins lay with Will Ferell. Talladega Nights was fairly disappointing, I think everyone will agree. So let’s roll it back to Patient Zero.

Here we are. Anchorman. I blame thee. The poster was simple, kind of funny, and the movie is a cult-ish success. I enjoy it. But this poster is now the bane of my existence for creating a string of horribly unfunny and irritating copy cats!

Ok, now I know a lot of posters can be repetitive. The group of heroes all together, painted (a la Star Wars) those used to appear a lot – but they were beautiful and individual. These are just copy cats with new actors in place. And yes, the general body posture and degree of closeness changes, but they are all far too similar for me. Wake Up Hollywood! Get some new designers! Or are they on strike too? I need a visual breath of fresh air, please! This issue has annoyed me to the point where I will not pay to see Dewey Cox because this is atrocious. That’s just me, and I’m just past my boiling point.

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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