Every year, dozens of articles come out in the entertainment rags that bemoan the fact that Hollywood puts too much emphasis on hot, young starlets. Yet, after last week’s Shoot ‘Em Up and this week’s The Brave One, the Fat Guys at the Movies got to thinking that there are still plenty of hot actresses out there in their 40s.
Here’s a list of a dozen hot actresses that have reached 40, or more, and still turn us on. These are the older women that we’d like to bang… not together, of course… unless they insisted. (It would be weird, but we’d get over it to have a roll in the hay with them.)
Note: This is far from an exclusive list, and it’s ordered in age from youngest to oldest, not necessarily by hotness.
12. Nicole Kidman (40 years old)
What was Tom Cruise thinking? Unless she’s wearing that nasty prosthetic nose from The Hours, this hot Aussie still has it going on.
11. Maria Bello (40 years old)
Some first noticed her in Coyote Ugly. She turned other heads in Payback. But it was sultry, sexy performances in The Cooler and A History of Violence that won our hearts. It made Fat Guy Kevin Carr want to go buy his wife a cheerleader outfit and meet her on the stairs.
10. Salma Hayek (41 years old)
We’ll take Salma any way possible, whether it’s with a unibrow in Frida or in her stunning American debut in Desperado. She’s got the curves, and we love to watch her move. We’d also gladly be the slave to her snake lady in From Dusk ‘Til Dawn.
9. Halle Berry (41 years old)
Sure, she’s done some real stinkers in her day (dare we say Catwoman), but even in the worst movie, we like looking at Halle Berry. Baby and all, she’s still a hottie.
8. Kristen Davis (42 years old)
Let’s face it, Kristen Davis was the only one of the four loose Manhattan women from “Sex in the City” who was actually worth it. We need her in more movies, especially ones that call for sex scenes.
7. Diane Lane (42 years old)
The Fat Guys had a smack-down about who could claim Diane Lane as their favorite. Kevin won, simply because he remembers seeing her as a 13 year old in A Little Romance (which isn’t that creepy, considering Kevin was only eight when he saw it). She’s still got it, even today.
6. Monica Bellucci (42 years old)
Whether she’s playing Mary, the mother of Jesus, or a lactating prostitute, we love Monica. And think how awesome it would be if she would whisper sweet nothings to us in Italian.
5. Vanessa Williams (44 years old)
Who would have thought we’d have two ladies from “Ugly Betty” on this list? We still have fond memories of her Penthouse pictorial that got her dethroned as Miss America, as well as co-starring with the Governator in Eraser.
4. Jodie Foster (44 years old)
Her sexy-yet-earthy vigilante performance in The Brave One helped inspire the list, but her great pair of legs in Inside Man is what we remember the most of recent years. Now all she has to do is the raunchy road comedy, and we’ll have a new favorite.
3. Kelly Preston (44 years old)
John Travolta’s a lucky man. His middle-aged hottie of a wife looks better than he does now. We remember her baring all in 1985’s Mischief, and we’d watch her do it again.
2. Michelle Yeoh (45 years old)
This Malaysian beauty is one of the reasons to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Forget her nymphet co-star Ziyi Zhang. We’re hot for teacher. And let’s not forget she’s also a Bond girl from Tomorrow Never Dies who could actually kick Bond’s ass.
1. Michelle Pfeiffer (49 years old)
She’s the oldest on the list, but she’s also the hottest. And Michelle Pfeiffer proved her hotness this year with head-turning performances in Stardust and Hairspray. We have one word for her, Meow!
Sherilyn Fenn (42 years old), She’s in her 40s, and she put on enough weight to play Lulu Hogg in the Dukes of Hazzard sequel, but Fat Guy Kevin Carr cannot leave his favorite “Twin Peaks” off the list.
Catherine Keener (48 years old), Steve Carell got to bang her in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, but more importantly, she got to bang Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich. The Fat Guys are just waiting their turn.