The rumor floating around via Deadline is that Megan Fox’s option hasn’t been renewed from Paramount for Transformers 3. In a way, it makes perfect sense. Her cache has fallen considerably in the past year or so – despite a ton of internet searches for her name – and she’s the exact definition of a flavor of the month. She’s managed to make it past her expiration date, but beauty alone can only take you so far.
Still, even if she was returning, it’s no secret that she can’t exactly, you know, act. So I’d still probably finding some worth in publishing a list like this even if she was back on board.
Considering that Fox does leave some beautiful boots to fill, I’d like to use these criteria as my decision making/justification.
- Acting ability
- Acting ability within the framework of a blockbuster action film
- Degree of hotness
- Age relative to Shia Labeouf
As an added handicap, and to fulfill #3, I’ll be choosing solely from women featured on Maxim’s Hot 100 list. There’s gotta be some good actors in there somewhere right?
7. Blake Lively
The Pitch: She hasn’t proven much range, but she’s still proven a bit more than Fox. She also did something right because she’s playing the love interest for Warner’s tentpole The Green Lantern. She’s also just the right age to play a girl Sam meets at college, and for her hotness credentials – she was #4 on Maxim’s list.
6. Ashley Greene
The Pitch: Greene was one of the holdouts for the last Twilight film which most certainly keeps her from realistically signing up with Mr. Bay. Say what you will about the movies, but her role is as an eternal beauty whose super power is grace and dropping jaws from across the room. She’s shown a bit of acting skill even within the sullen, glowering scripts of the vampire craze, and she was #29 on Maxim’s list. That’s a great combination. Plus, someone needs to break out from those films besides Anna Kendrick.
5. Mila Kunis
The Pitch: I doubt I’ll have to give any hotness proof. Despite her being #22 on Maxim’s list, I know she’s #1 in the hearts of many of my friends. Not only is she funny, she showed a little bit of edge in The Book of Eli (even if her character wasn’t ever properly fleshed out). She would seem just as ridiculous for Sam Witwicky to land as Megan Fox was.
4. Grace Park
The Pitch: If you didn’t watch “Battlestar Galactica,” you may not know Grace Park. That’s sad for you. She’s brimming with acting talent with a notable intensity, and she clocks in at #60 on the Maxim list. She’s admittedly a bit out of the age range for a part like this, but I highly doubt anyone would walk out of the theater complaining. At least not about that particular bit of disbelief suspension.
3. Alison Brie
The Pitch: Can’t see it? Perhaps you’ve been blinded by her librarian-esque clothing choices on both “Community” and “Mad Men,” but Brie is beyond capable of making the leap to young sex symbol, and after seeing her take down Britta in Jack Black’s guest-starring, whip cream wrestling fantasy, I get the feeling she’d be able to fight alien robots. It’s a tingling feeling, but I think it’s accurate. Her position at #99 on the Maxim list is a little high, but give it a year, and she’ll be closer to that number one spot, and it’s no secret that she’s got comedic chops and can also play a supremely tragic figure with subtly. Incredible acting range, a sense of humor, and she’s gorgeous.
2. Amber Heard
The Pitch: Let’s face it. Maxim’s #13, Amber Heard, is basically already Megan Fox. She’s hot, young, gets naked regularly in films, and does more flirting than acting. However, it’s because of this very fact, and because she carries herself with a bit more ability, that she’d make a perfect replacement.
1. Zoe Saldana
The Pitch: The last time I saw Zoe Saldana in a movie, she was shooting a rocket at a group of international terrorists after getting into an epic gun battle in her underwear. No one more exemplifies everything on my list of criteria except the age range than Saldana. Still, she’s young enough to play a grad student or an FBI agent that falls for Sam. That second one is ridiculous, so it’s probably what will happen.
Plus, she’s the Dame Judy Dench of acting compared to the other actors in the Transformers films. On second thought, didn’t they already hire Judy Dench? They’ve hired so, so many people. Oh, and Saldana was ranked higher on Maxim’s list at #3 than Megan Fox.
Tangents aside, that’s my list of who I’d like to see as a love interest in Transformers 3: The Search for More Money.
Who would you like to see?