WTF: Miley Cyrus Memoirs?

My Life, by Miley Cyrus

I have been accused at times of being too gossipy in my WTF articles. I will concede that the subject matter I tend to gravitate towards here does find itself in the company of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan quite often, but not in the way some gossip hound or Perez Hilton wannabe would have it.

Instead, these stories rise to the top of my editorial stack each week because they are truly the things that make my head spin and cause me to yell out loud, “What the fuck?”

Sure, I can write an article about how Michael Bay is being a douchebag for leaking false info on Transformers 2. But this just warrants me shaking my head rather than going into a rage. (And ultimately, much of the news in the fanboy realm is stories of anticipation and eagerness rather than confusion… at least unless McG is concerned.)

Again, the tabloid front has popped out of the headlines for myself. It’s a story of our illustrious Executive Editor Neil Miller’s favorite young starlet… Miley Cyrus.

News hit the wires this week that the 15-year-old superstar will be writing her memoirs, to be published in concert with her upcoming Hannah Montana feature film next spring. (See… this has something to do with film, after all).

What the fuck?

The kid’s not even old enough to drive, and she’s writing frickin’ memoirs?

I have no problem with the celebrity machine producing non-fiction biographies of young stars. In fact, I happen to know an author who published a biography of Jennifer Love Hewitt during her I Know What You Did Last Summer days. But to call them memoirs is a bit much.

Memoirs are reserved for presidents, public figures and celebrities with long, rich careers. They are not to be attributed to a teenage celebrity who hasn’t even settled on a final bra size yet.

I would imagine that an excerpt of “Hannah Montana: The First Fifteen Years” would go something like this:

Like, oh my god. My dad finally cut off his mullet. It was just so uncool.

He did get a meeting for me with the dudes at Disney. They want me to do a show where I’m just a regular girl who leads a double life as a rock star. My first thoughts were, “Seriously? Who’s gonna believe that?”

Well, it all worked out. I learned to use glitter like a big girl and apply bubble gum lipstick like that old lady Hilary Duff.

Sound Off: Which celebrity do you think is least ready to write his or her memoirs?

Kevin Carr crawled from the primordial ooze in the early 1970s. He grew up watching movies to the point of irritation for his friends and was a font of useless movie knowledge until he decided to put that knowledge to good use. Now, Kevin is a nationally syndicated critic, heard on dozens of radio stations around the country, and his reviews appear in a variety of online outlets. Kevin is also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (BFCA), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS), and the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA).

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