After sitting through the snoozefest ball-kick that was The Devil Inside (refresh your memory of my disdain by giving my review another look), a large part of me hoped that I would never need to think (or write) about the film ever again. Of course, that was before the “found footage” (fauxtage! fauxtage!) flick won the box office for the weekend, despite that F CinemaScore and some of the worst buzz surrounding a film ever. Of course such insipid, uninspired filmmaking would be rewarded! And how, as director and co-writer William Brent Bell has already been signed to direct a new film for Warner Bros.

You will be shocked to learn that the film will be called The Vatican, and that it will also employ the found footage style that The Devil Inside used, though it’s described as “a hybrid.” I, too, am utterly shocked! The film is still in pitch format, and Deadline Atrani describes it as “a conspiracy driven thriller” that will be penned by David Cohen.

Man, William Brent Bell must really hate the Holy See.

But while the attachment of Bell is enough to send me back over to Fure’s Boiling Point from this morning to give my anger a name and a place to rest, it’s possible that The Vatican will not be a total flop. Cohen is a Black List screenwriter, with his Subject Zero garnering a place on the list last year. His No One Lives is also currently in post-production, and was directed by Ryuhei Kitamura (The Midnight Meat Train).

While that’s not enough to give this project a pass (the Black List is not what it used to be and Cohen has yet to see a film of his open in theaters), it’s at least mildly heartening and the one tiny ray of sunshine in a story that proves that cinematic unoriginality and a complete lack of respect for audiences are still rewarded in ol’ Hollywood.


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