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Val Kilmer and 50 Cent to Star in Katrina Flick with Idiotic Title

Hurricane Katrina

Val Kilmer, 50 Cent and Sharon Stone will star in a film about two policemen battling the chaos that reigned in New Orleans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, according to Variety.

Filming for Streets of Blood starts next month, with Academy Award winner Irwin Winkler co-producing. His son, Charles Winkler, is directing.

So far, so good, right?

Except there’s one problem. Streets of Blood is the dumbest fucking name for a movie since The Phantom Menace of the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Clones.

With all the news footage of Katrina’s aftermath still fresh in my mind, I can assure you the streets were not filled with blood. They were filled with Lake Ponchartrain.

A dumb name is to be expected, perhaps, given all the stupid-assed names involved in the production. Val Kilmer. What the fuck? Last time I checked, Val was a girl’s name. And 50 Cent? Why would someone name their kid after the contents of my left ass pocket?

Oh well. Time to head home and snuggle up with my cat, Lunchmeat O’Purr-Baby.

J.L. Sosa is a freelance writer, photographer and horror filmmaker. He's burdened with an irrational fear of spiders and clowns. He loves (in descending order of magnitude) his girlfriend, his pets and spinach.

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