Tyler Perry and Alfred Hitchcock, Together At Last!

Dustin Rowles over at Pajiba broke the synapse-destroying news that Tyler Perry of Jesus Christ, stop making movies fame (See: Madea, and whatever else he’s created that I’ve instinctively avoided so as to retain some faith in humanity) has inexplicably decided to develop It Had to Be Murder, the Cornell Woolrich short story that went on to influence Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window.

While Perry has relegated himself to producer via 34th Street Films, a production wing of Perry’s Atlanta-based Tyler Perry Studios, it is almost a certainty that his hand in the project all but guarantees myriad examples of painful stereotypes, horribly contrived drama, and perhaps a large dude in a bad wig.

Someone needs to get Perry and Uwe Boll into the same room. The force of their collective suck could theoretically cause a distortion in space/time that would remove them from our particular plane of existence. Or, perhaps they would cancel each other out and create a single entity that actually cared about making good films. I’m sure there is a scientific formula for how that would work someplace.

Tyler Perry’s product has been wildly popular. He’s so successfully marketed his films, televison shows, and books, that last year he was ranked as the sixth highest paid man in Hollywood via Forbes. This doesn’t change that his movies are generally aimed at the lowest common denominator, who seem comfortable being beaten over the head with every available stereotype. Listen — Girls Gone Wild is massively popular; doesn’t mean it’s quality viewing. People make a lot of money churning out schlock. When I mentioned this story to a friend before sitting down to write, they suggested that perhaps Perry has simply been biding his time making cookie-cutter nonsense that sells so he could finance the big, high concept, breakout film he’s always wanted to make.

The first Madea film hit theaters in 2005. I think it’s safe to say that whatever Tyler Perry has in mind for It Had to Be Murder, it’s very likely to follow the formula that built his baffling fanbase, and filled his pockets.

Think I’ll go pop Rear Window into the DVD player, and pretend this isn’t happening…

Dustin is a California transplant by way of West Texas, spending most of the last ten years anywhere between Oceanside and Santa Barbara. Dustin has been writing since adolescence, winning such illustrious honors as first grade teacher Ms. Wall's Creative Critter Writing Award.

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