If you’re seething with unreleased rage and only know three guitar chords, there are a ton of options for you at theaters this week. From the boys finally loving Mandy Lane to Machete continuing his fight against good taste (which must have done something terrible to his family), and from Captain Phillips fighting back against pirates to William Faulkner rising from the grave to strangle James Franco, there are an unhealthy amount of victimized people taking up arms against a sea of bullies.
Naturally, vengeful ghosts and an evil Disneyland come into play as well.
On the punk rock side, there’s Green Day battling Broadway and a poorly-lip-synced attempt at telling the story of an iconic haunt that never played bluegrass music.
There’s also a lot more going on in a week with a massive amount of movies. Here’s your trailer-ized guide to what’s coming out:
The Major Stuff
All The Boys Love Mandy Lane
The Mini-Major One
Romeo and Juliet (2013)
The Limited Stuff
As I Lay Dying
Design Is One
Escape From Tomorrow
Forgetting The Girl
Gahan Wilson: Born Dead, Still Weird
Ghost Team One
God Loves Uganda
I Will Follow You Into the Dark
The Inevitable Defeat of Mister and Pete
And if you’re scared of leaving the house, Rob has you covered on DVDs and Blu-ray.