So, in case you didn’t know, Len Wiseman is directing a remake of Total Recall for Sony Pictures. I know what you’re thinking, “Total Recall was a perfect film, how could they possibly remake it and not make something disappointing and stupid, especially in this age of homogenized action movies?” Well shut up you, we will have none of that negativity here in this casting rumors article.

Even though Arnold Schwarzenegger is once again free to start acting, this update has Colin Farrell signed on to step into the Hauser/Quaid dynamic. So what we need is a couple of chicks for him to knock boots with. If you recall, the Paul Verhoeven classic had four big female roles. The first is the undercover secret agent playing Quaid’s doting wife. The second is his spicy space mistress Melina, who he hooks up with as part of a rebel uprising on Mars. The third is the hooker with three boobs. And the fourth is the midget hooker who blows a bunch of guys away with a machine gun. We have yet to get any word on the casting of the second two roles, but Deadline Thal has dug up some info on the process behind filling the first two.

For the role of Lori, originally played by Sharon Stone, the front-runners seem to be Kate Bosworth and Diane Kruger. Originally my reaction to these two names was that they are too puny and that Schwarzenegger would eat them alive on screen, but then I remembered that we’re not talking about a Schwarzenegger movie, but a Colin Farrell movie, and I got sad but figured either would do fine.

Reading for the role of Melina has been Eva Mendes and Paula Patton. So yeah, they seem to be keeping things pretty close to the original: blonde girls for the wife and brown girls for the mistress. What’s the point of remaking this movie again? Like I’m not just going to show my kids the original once they turn four anyways.

Hopefully we at least get a mind-bending scene where Farrell’s character isn’t sure if what he is experiencing is real, or if it is all an imprinted lie and really he is an aging Austrian man. I’m not holding my breath for any awesome cameos by actors from the original though. Especially since the “two weeks” lady has tragically passed on.

I’m sure more news will be forthcoming once they start reading people for the role of Quatto.


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