Today in Absurdity: Kim Kardashian as Lara Croft

Kim Kardashian Lara Croft

I can’t imagine seeing Kim Kardashian doing anything well on-screen beyond what I saw when she appeared in that tasteless home movie with Ray J. That’s his name, right — Ray J? However, I appear to not be the only person in this realm. Someone out there thinks that Kim Kardashian and all of her famous body parts might make for a half-decent, family friendly Lara Croft in a Tomb Raider revival. Haven’t they seen her previous work? There’s nothing family friendly about it.

The news comes from Showbiz Spy, who has the following to say: “This will be something very different to Angelina’s Lara,” a source said. “Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience.”

Even more entertaining is the fact that Kardashian is said to be serious about this, going so far as to take some acting classes: “Kim has been attending acting classes for some time,” a source revealed. “She gets scripts sent to her all the time, but unlike so many other famous people she doesn’t just want to make a film without first learning the craft.”

This is all coming from “Hollywood Insiders.” But before I allow you time to (a) vent your frustrations in the comment section below and (b) begin laughing at the preposterous nature of Kim Kardashian doing anything but snorting coke with her little sister on E!, lets think about this as if it were a real thing. Kardashian can’t act, unless you count the aforementioned sex tape. And beyond that, who really wants to see a family-friendly Tomb Raider movie? It’s a misguided situation beyond all of my previously conceived notions of misguided situations.

That said, Kardashian would be in my top three choices to play Lara Croft in the inevitable XXX version from New Sensations.

Neil Miller is the Founder and Publisher of Film School Rejects. For almost a decade, he has been talking movies on television, the radio, and the Internet. As of yet, no one has stopped him.

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