I was all ready to end it all this morning by shoving two fingers into my eyeballs (what I like to call Larry-Kari), but then something stopped me. It was Neil, shoving his hand onto the bridge of my nose and telling me to stop threatening to kill myself. There was work to be done, and he didn’t want to have to “clean up a body when [he] could be searching for Natalie Portman pics.”

While that’s not a direct quote, he was right about there being some news hilariously topical to my method of offing myself. Apparently Sean Penn, most famous for signing on as Larry in the Farrelly Brothers’ Three Stooges movie that makes everyone throw up in their mouths and marginally famous for winning a couple of Oscars, has decided to take a year off. That means he actually won’t be in the Three Stooges movie, and we’ll need to figure out something else for him to be famous for.

According to HitFix, the production will not be ultimately affected as it will either stall for a brief period until Penn returns or simply recast his part. So anyone out there dying to throw a pie in the face of Benecio del Toro or Jim Carrey should go to the MGM lot immediately. Wait, make that the Sony lot. The Culver location stopped being the MGM lot in 1991.

The site is also reporting that the status of Cartel, a thriller that starred Penn at Universal, is unknown at this time.

What do you think? Who could replace Penn for the Farrelly Brothers?

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