The Reject Report Takes a Bite Out of Megan Fox


Welcome to a star studded Reject Report! We’ve got some heavy A-list talent on hand this weekend at the theaters: Matt Damon! Jennifer Aniston!! Megan Fox!!! And in the end these folks may all end up losing at the box office to 3D CGI spaghetti and meatballs.

It is all adding up to a very uncertain and unpredictable weekend at the theaters, and the thing that is interesting is that we have four movies that are going to attract four completely different audiences. Kids are going to go for Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, the chicks may go for Love Happens, the horror fans will want to see Jennifer’s Body, and working stiffs and people who hate the big corporations may go for The Informant!

I’ll start with The Informant! It’s directed by Steven Soderburgh and stars Matt Damon as this hilarious, dufus corporate whistleblower who is recruited as an informant for the FBI. Also in the cast are Scott Bakula, Joel McHale and Melanie Lynskey. The movie rolled out at the Toronto International Film Festival and the word is it’s funny as hell, so it may be worth a look.

I wonder about the theater count of 2,505, which isn’t a recipe for a heck of a lot of money. These corporate-whistleblower-type movies aren’t exactly known for being blockbusters, either. But I think this will find an audience and make it up to $17 million for the weekend.

Watch the trailer for The Informant!:

Next is Jennifer’s Body, the much-hyped horror flick starring Megan Fox as a high-school-cheerleader who becomes possessed and eats guys. It also stars Amanda Seyfried as her best pal. The flick is written by Diablo Cody and directed by Karyn Kusama.

This one is being released to 2,700 theaters, not a lot. I notice Megan Fox has been her usual media-whore self, opening her big mouth at random all week trying to hype the movie up. She’s been trashing Michael Bay, declared she would never do a sex tape, blabbed that she threatened to kill her boyfriend — the works. Oh my God, aren’t people sick of her big mouth yet? I’m tempted to say Megan, shut up — before you really put your big foot in it bigtime.

Anyway, I think Jennifer’s Body will open to $18 million — and in spite of “Jennifer’s Mouth”, not because of it. Though I will admit, any publicity is good publicity.

Watch the Jennifer’s Body trailer:

Next is yet another Jennifer Aniston chick flick Love Happens, co-starring Aaron Eckhart. Eckhart plays this widower self-help guy who falls for this woman, and must confront his own emotions about his wife’s passing.

It’s only on 1,900 or so screens and worse yet, it isn’t being screened for critics. I can understand a movie like G.I. Joe not being screened, but a Jennifer Aniston flick? This is a really bad sign, folks. I think this flick is going to go down the tubes fast once people actually see it. I predict only $10 million, and the only reason I am going that high is because Aniston is in the flick. She’s still all over the tabloids, and the latest rumor is she’s linked to Gerard Butler. So there will be a few people interested in her love life who will pay to see this movie. If she weren’t in this effort business would be completely in the sink, that’s for sure, because otherwise this movie has NOTHING going for it.

Watch the Love Happens trailer:

Finally, there is Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, from Sony Animation, based on the children’s book by Judi and Ron Barrett. What’s important is that this flick is yet another one of the many 3D movies sweeping the country in this year of 3D. Bill Hader, Anna Faris, and James Caan are among the voices.

Of all the new movies rolling out this weekend this one has the widest release in over 3,000 theaters, and stands to benefit from higher 3D ticket prices and more showings thanks to a run time of only 81 minutes. Granted, I don’t think people are too wild about this movie, either, but I do see this one winning the weekend by a few meatballs, with a $26 million opening.

Watch the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs trailer:

My prediction for the final finish is as follows:

  1. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs $26 million
  2. Jennifer’s Body $18 million
  3. The Informant! $17 million
  4. Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself $12.5 million
  5. Love Happens $10 million
  6. 9 $6 million
  7. Inglourious Basterds $4 million
  8. All About Steve $3 million
  9. The Final Destination $2.5 million
  10. Sorority Row $2.4 million

We’ll see if this is actually how it plays out. I kind of am going out on a limb in the prediction department here. Really, I think any scenario could play out in the Top 5. And who knows what moviegoers are thinking at this time of year? What some might be thinking is “gee, I’d rather go to a football game instead.” Which, incidentally, are my big plans for the weekend. (Actually, I have to report on one this weekend. Take pity on me.)

And I know already – Charlize Theron has The Burning Plain out in limited release, but that’s only on 21 screens.

See you after the weekend — once I am done watching football — as I count the loot again here at the Reject Report!

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