The Reject Report Races to Witch Mountain


After all the excitement over Watchmen it is shaping up to be yet another dull week of predictions here at the Reject Report. Looking at the lineup this weekend I have got to say we have a serious lack of original ideas coming out of Hollywood. We have one out-and-out remake in The Last House on the Left), one reimagining of a previous movie with Race to Witch Mountain, and a third movie called Miss March which, based on its subject matter, might as well be a remake because Sex Drive covered similar territory last fall — except without the Playboy Playmates. Anyhow, that’s your lineup.

We might as well start with Last House on the Left, and once again we have a continuation of the trend this year towards remakes of vaunted horror movies of years past. We had My Bloody Valentine 3D and we had Friday the 13th, and now we have this remake of the 1972 film of the same name that was directed and written by Wes Craven. Craven was brought on board to produce this effort, directed by Dennis Iliadis. It stars Sara Paxton, Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter, with Paxton playing Mari, a girl who is kidnapped by an evil gang of escapees. Goldwyn and Potter play her parents who try and get revenge.

The question is how will this movie do, and who really knows? This has been a big year so far for horror movies with consistent audiences in the $20 million plus range, as I have said here over and over again. Friday the 13th made $43 million on the President’s Day weekend. Still, I don’t know how much longer this can go on. I really wonder what the take will be for The Last House on the Left. I have a feeling that it may not do as well as some of the previous horror flicks, mainly because people have been horrored out. I wonder if we have reached the point yet where people are finally sick and tired of these scary movies. Still, I am going to predict $18 million for Last House on the Left, because a lot of horror fans are probably still starving for any kind of decent-looking horror entertainment.

Next up I am going to talk about Race to Witch Mountain, a Disney flick that is sort of a remake of the original Escape to Witch Mountain that came out in 1975. This one, however, stars the box-office-winning Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who plays a Vegas cab driver who joins up with astrophysicist Carla Gugino to try and rescue a couple of kids.

From what I gather, this flick out to do well with families, and I imagine The Rock will pull in some the usual WWE fans. (The key word here is “some”, not all.) But I don’t know how much enthusiasm there is going to be for this movie. You know, I get the impression that the public is getting pretty fed up with the same old ideas being served up over and over again, and this has “same old” written all over it. Still, I am predicting $24 million for this flick, mainly because it will be in over 3,000 theaters and I think there will be an audience for it.

Finally, we come to the latest nominee for Big Flop Movie of the Week: Miss March. This flick is directed by and stars members of the comedy troupe Whitest Kids U’ Know, Trevor Moore and Zach Cregger. Basically, it’s about this poor dude who conks his head in high school, and he awakes from a long coma and finds his girlfriend has gone on to become a Playmate of the Month. So he and his pal go on a big road trip in search of his high school Playmate sweetheart.

Sounds to me like the plotline of Sex Drive all over again. The problem, though, was that Sex Drive only made $3.6 million in its opening weekend. So how the heck am I supposed to predict big things for Miss March when that movie, which a lot of people thought was pretty good, did so lousy at the box office? Oh, and The House Bunny didn’t do so hot either, opening at $14 million. I am only predicting $4 million for Miss March, because let’s face it, no one cares about this movie.

I suppose there is only one remaining question and that is how Watchmen will do. After all, last weekend a lot of people predicted much bigger things for this movie than a haul of $55 million. Now, everyone’s predicting a huge drop based on the not-so-great tracking and word of mouth among ordinary moviegoers. Me, I just think Watchmen will take a big hit simply because this is how it goes for a lot of superhero movies. One week you open big, and the next week everyone’s forgotten about you. That’s exactly what happened last year with The Incredible Hulk.

I am predicting $23 million this weekend for Watchmen, and you know what that means — another box-office title for the Rock. But it’s really too close to call as I see it. My prediction:

  1. Race to Witch Mountain $24 million
  2. Watchmen $23 million
  3. Last House on the Left $18 million
  4. Taken $5.5 million
  5. Madea Goes to Jail $5.3 million
  6. Slumdog Millionaire $5 million
  7. Miss March $4 million
  8. Paul Blart: Mall Cop $3.3 million
  9. He’s Just Not That Into You $2.3 million
  10. Coraline $2.2 million

That’s that. Back at weekend’s end to see who wins the latest box-office smackdown here at the Reject Report.

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