The Reportkeeper. It’s kind of like a Trapper Keeper 2.0. There’s an image of a ninja lion flying an F-15 jet fighter over an ocean of robot scorpions on the front of every one. That’s what makes it horrible. Plus the fact that it doesn’t hold papers or pens worth a damn. Also the Velcro to keep it closed is loops on both sides, so that doesn’t work. Basically this thing is a POS. I’m telling you NOT to buy the Reportkeeper when they go on sale over in the FSR store* later next month. Also, this is my way of telling you the new movies this weekend aren’t all that interesting as far as box office goes. It’s going to be Transformers: Dark of the Moon for the second weekend in a row. Press play on your Pink Floyd album of choice right…now.
*Note: There is no FSR store. You can stop looking now.
Everyone hates their boss in some capacity. We all dream of the painful situations we might put them in because of the hard work and stress they put us through. Really? It’s just me here? Okay, still, my newly acquired love for Neil and Cole aside, the consensus of hating your boss might not be enough to make Horrible Bosses a huge success. That rides on the star power of its fairly weighty cast. Between the six leads – seven if you count Jamie Foxx, and you probably should – there are some strong opening weekend numbers to be divided up. All of that cast combined with the trend of successful R-rated films this Summer is a good indicator that Horrible Bosses will bring in some packed houses this weekend. Of course, here in 2011, it doesn’t seem that any of the cast members bring as much to the table as, say, Justin Timberlake. Nor is the film getting the type of buzz Bridesmaids received. Horrible Bosses will have a nice opening this weekend, but it doesn’t seem likely to live up to the ground Bridesmaids and Bad Teacher have already patted down.
Oh, yeah, Kevin Spacey is in there, too. You remember the horrible boss he played once before in Swimming with Sharks. No? Well, here’s a pretty good clip that shows just how angry he can get at Frank Whaley:
What do we hate more than our bosses? That’s right. Talking animals. Wait. What do we despise even more than talking animals? That’s right. Kevin “By God” James. It’s a cornucopia of anger getting unleashed in the theaters this weekend. Zookeeper looks like it’ll be another in a long line of hits for James. Will it be on par with Paul Blart’s opening numbers? Signs are pointing to very likely, in fact. It’s a Summer movie. The Kevin James era is neither at its inception nor does it feel to be nearing its end. Also, there’s the added bonus of talking animals. TALKING ANIMALS. Don’t let that little element pass by unnoticed. And one of those talking animals is voiced by Ken Jeong, who we’ve already established as the king of Summer 2011. So yes, like it or not, Zookeeper is going to pull in a solid opening weekend. And our hatred for James will continue. Talking animals? We might end up forgiving them.
This weekend sees the debut of a number of things we could live without. Bosses. Talking animals. Kevin James. An unattractive Colin Farrell. But it’s likely to be Transformers: Dark of the Moon that comes out on top once again. The second weekend drops on the first two Transformers were average (47.5% drop for 2007’s Transformers) and not so good (61.2% drop for Revenge of the Fallen). Dark of the Moon’s second weekend drop will probably be right in the middle of those two despite a consensus that says it’s the best of the three. The film has already passed $200m in domestic sales and $486.6m worldwide. It’s already a success for Bay and Paramount, and it looks like it’ll be bringing in another $50m or so in the US this weekend. Ken Jeong, man. It’s all Ken Jeong. I’m telling you.
Project Nim is a harrowing action adventure about chimps who are genetically altered and go on a murderous rampage to take claim of the planet for their leader, Caesar. What’s that? It’s actually a sweet documentary about a lovable chimp who is raised by humans? Whatever. I’m still not trusting those chimps, cute or not. I’ve got my eye on you, Nim. First sign of speech or if I see you reaching for a kitchen knife, I’m resurrecting Charlton Heston. The end of the world that is Project Nim begins this weekend in New York City and Chicago.
The weekend is looking at $142.5m for the top 10. It’s no surprise it would be down from last weekend when Dark of the Moon debuted, especially when it looks like that film will repeat at the top, and the two newbies aren’t exactly blockbuster films. Nonetheless, it’s still going to be a decent enough weekend at the box office. There’ll be just enough grease on the wheels for the next huge blast at the box office, the very last Harry Potter film. But we’ll talk about that next week.
We’ll be back on Sunday to go over the weekend numbers.
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