What is Movie News After Dark? Like your collegiate sex life, it will be in and out quick with nothing very interesting to say. It will, however, deliver unto you all the magical and wondrous movie news of the day. And it promises to call you the next day, because you’re a person, dammit.

We open tonight with images of humans running away from fireballs. It must be time for a Michael Bay update. This one is from Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and it includes zero robots. Not quite as interesting as the ones that include robots, but still quite ‘splosiony.

Craig Robinson is the antichrist. Well, he will be playing the antichrist, at least, in one of those Lionsgate microbudget flicks everyone’s been talking about. The Paul Middleditch directed film, Rapturepalooza, will take place a year after the Rapture. It will center on a couple who wants to open a sandwich cart business. Excellent.

Quick, someone tell Arnold Schwazenegger that the whole “Governator” thing was just a joke. A “haha” funny joke, not a “please make this into an animated series” funny joke.

Bryan Cranston is reportedly joining the Total Recall reboot as the villain, Vilos Cohaagen. It’s worth it to point out the story’s lack of a Mars setting, but Bryan Cranston could make me want to see just about anything.

Justin Bieber and Ashton Kutcher may be Hollywood’s next great buddy comedy duo. Let me rephrase: Justin Bieber and Ashton Kutcher may be Hollywood’s next buddy comedy duo.

Paramount has optioned the young adult novel Earthseed, which chronicles a group of children who are blasted into space away from a dying Earth with hopes of finding a habitable planet where they can rebuild the species. Dexter and Twilight scribe Melissa Rosenberg has been hired to write. The novel has two sequels. Franchise!

More Pirates of the Caribbean movies are on the way. If this surprises you, we need to have a talk.

I love the art of Tim Doyle. He has produced several of my favorite Mondo Tees posters. He is featured as part of the upcoming Quentin vs. Coens art show being put on by Spoke Art, and /Film has debuted a series of pieces he’s done for the Tarantino side of things. Here’s a personal favorite:

Here’s something neat. David Gordon Green has said that his updated version of Suspiria would include elements of the Goblin score from Dario Argento’s iconic original. As remake ideas go, that’s one of the better ones.

The company that post-converted Clash of the Titans into 3D, Prime Focus, will next take on George Lucas’ Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace. That’s promising news. Also, sarcasm is fun.

HitFix’s Gregory Ellwood writes passionately about why Hanna is the best movie you’ll see this spring. I can’t verify first hand, but folks I’ve talked to are saying that he’s right, it’s very very good.

The voice casting for Green Lantern is quickly being spilled onto the tubes of the interwebs. Yesterday it was Michael Clarke Duncan as Kilowog, today it’s Geoffrey Rush as Tomar-Re. And just as it was yesterday, it’s all good for Green Lantern.

Vanilla Ice will star as Captain Hook in a pantomime version of Peter Pan in Kent’s Chatham Theatre. I cannot make this stuff up. Go ninja, go.

Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer has been given the go-ahead for Gangster Squad, a crime drama about charismatic 40s Los Angeles mobster Mickey Cohen. And he’s getting heavy hitters Sean Penn (in the role of Cohen) and Ryan Gosling to go along with it. That’s a nice cherry on top.

io9 has a very interesting expose about the Re-Animator musical, and how it brings intestinal attacks to life in front of a live audience. Well done, Stuart Gordon.

We close tonight with one solid minute of trailery goodness for the upcoming sixth season of Doctor Who. It’s brilliant. It gives me chills. I can’t wait.


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