The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (In Theaters): If you’re looking for a date movie or a movie where you can laugh consistently, then look no further than my film pick of the week. This is a totally solid comedy, the latest from the Apatow group, and you’ll have the pleasure in discovering some new talents with its fantastic cast that includes writer Jason Segel, Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis and Russell Brand.

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead, Juno and Lars and the Real Girl (DVD): What an awesome week it was for DVD releases. If you’re looking for a thriller, then check out the film that blew me away and landed a solid spot on my Top 10 list last year (which I revised many times but this film was on it every time). If you’re in the mood for a comedy, then you really can’t go wrong with either Juno or Lars as they rank among the best comedies of the last two or three years. All films feature absolute dynamite performances. You can see two premiere actors in Phillip Seymour-Hoffman and Ethan Hawke at the pinnacle of their games, or you can fall in love with the performances of Ellen Page as Juno or Ryan Gosling as Lars. Hell, the best thing you can do is just rent all three of them.

Iron Man Gets Good Early Reviews: As if the buzz around this movie wasn’t loud enough, what with the awesome ass-kicking trailers and what not, now we’re hearing that the movie is actually good. With the speculation around Indiana Jones and the jury still out on Speed Racer, it looks like Iron Man is going to be the film that sets the tone for the summer.

The Bad

Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker want to reunite: Whether or not we should be thankful that it is NOT for a Rush Hour sequel has yet to be determined. But we’re probably screwed no matter what. You know that some hack director is going to be involved and the acting is going to be atrocious.

The Incredible Shrinking Man remake: Apparently, Universal wants to remake the 1957 sci-fi film The Incredible Shrinking Man. I haven’t seen the original but I can tell you right now that it will be infinitely better. If you thought Chan and Tucker were a formula for disaster, then get a load of some of the names attached to this turkey: Eddie Murphy (to star), Brett Ratner (to possibly direct) and Reno 911! cast members Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant (to scribe). This is like one of those Spider-man issues where Spidey has to fight off Green Goblin, Doc Ock, and all of the other major villains at once. And if Spidey symbolizes us, then we have found ourselves in a whole world of shit.

Val Kimer, 50 Cent and Sharon Stone to play in Katrina movie: Okay, not only does the cast raise a question mark, but how about the title. Streets of Blood? What we’re they thinking? How is a Katrina survivor going to respond to that? This movie may end up being as much of a disaster as the hurricane itself.

The Ugly

Al Pacino in 88 Minutes: I haven’t seen the movie myself, but I think it’s safe to take the word of the 5% rating at Rottentomatoes and jump to the conclusion that it is a giant bag of douche. 5%! That number is almost shocking. I mean this movie is going to go down as one of the worst reviewed movies ever at RT. I smell a razzie in the near future for Pacino. You really hate to see this happen to great actors.

Earl Dittman raves over 88 Minutes: In the war against the “critic whores” we won a great victory after Pete Hammond was removed from his post at Maxim. But there are others like him that are still out there people, preying on all the innocent people who don’t follow movies online and who have never heard of RT. Dittman (Wireless Magazine) is one of the worst. He gave 88 minutes four stars and called Pacino electrifying. He’s an insult to individuals such as myself who actually take film criticism seriously and try to provide unique insight about movies. Not only that, he gets paid for it. Life’s a bitch sometimes isn’t it?

The poster for the upcoming Eddie Murphy movie Meet Dave: I saw it for the first time on Friday at my local theater, and I just wanted to punch it. If you haven’t seen it, it features Murphy with a big bright smile. That’s why I wanted to punch it. Now until July, everytime I walk into the theater, I have to look at that stupid fucking smile. Then I looked on IMDb to see what it was about. Brian fucking Robbins is directing? After Norbit last year, these two assholes are teaming up again? Why is it that Uwe Boll gets all of the attention. There are other filmmakers that are equally as bad. Robbins is one of them. And if you put him together with Murphy, you basically have the Antichrist.


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