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‘The Expendables 2’ Teaser is Truly Just a Tease

My anticipation for the original The Expendables was massive, only to be matched in size and scope by my disappointment after I actually saw the film. Stallone’s new version of Rambo was awesome, it was packed full of R-rated action movie sleaze and it wasn’t at all ashamed of being exploitation. The Expendables looked like it was going to be a continuation of that, and also a massive team-up of bitchin’ 80s action stars the likes of which we’ve never seen. It didn’t really turn out to be all that though. It was kind of lame and boring, and really it was just a Stallone and Statham team-up movie with a handful of other cameos thrown in. So I’m approaching The Expendables 2 much more cautiously.

But even with lowered expectations, I can’t help but feel a little bit of a tingle watching the first teaser. I don’t know if it’s going to be the classless, take no prisoners, R-rated schlock that I’m hoping for, but at least it looks like this one is finally going to be the huge team-up of old guys that I wanted from the first. The team-up aspect is all that can be discerned from this teaser though. It’s a teaser in the truest sense, basically we get the names and head shots of the principal cast and not much else.

Actually, there’s one bit of dialogue in the whole thing, and it seems to me that Bruce Willis stumbles over his words. Does he really say, “ … because I knew one day would come when you were gonna pay me back?” Was that really the best take they had to use as the only dialogue in this trailer? Hopefully this thing was a rush job because somebody from the studio wanted a teaser out pronto, and not an indication of what the final cut of the film is going to look like. Not that it really matters. Nobody is watching this thing for the dialogue. We’re watching it to see Chuck Norris roundhouse kick Jean Claude Van Damme in the face. On my God, I can’t wait! [Apple]

Weaned on the genre films of the 80s. Reared by the independent movement of the 90s. Earned a BA for writing stuff in the 00s. Reviews current releases at templeofreviews.com

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