While many would like to think that snark was something born of the Internet age, the fact that the Razzie Awards for Worst Achievements in Film are now in their thirty-third year pretty demonstrably proves that to be untrue. There’s an uncomfortable truth at the center of all this, which is, to snark, to pass judgment, to make fun of things that fail publicly and spectacularly—it’s all kind of fun, at least in a sick way. If it wasn’t, something like The Razzies wouldn’t be able to stick around this long. In recent years, however, the film industry’s laser focus on building franchises and sticking to the same formulas has taken a little bit of the fun out of seeing who gets picked on for being the worst of the year. A crop of usual suspects has developed, making the announcement that the latest Twilight movie and the latest Adam Sandler comedy have earned the lion’s share of the nominations something of a tedious formality.
So, here we are, having yet again sat through another Twilight movie and another Adam Sandler comedy, and, sure enough, it seems that they’ve once again gotten the bulk of the nominations. If there’s any new narrative going on, it’s that Madea’s Witness Protection seems to have annoyed the people who vote for the Golden Raspberries more than usual. Perhaps that’s due to Jack & Jill making men in drag a more contemptible offense after last year, or perhaps it’s because they’re trying to set someone up as Adam Sandler’s successor if something happens to him and he can no longer be the King of the Razzies. That’s hard to say, but what’s clear is that Tyler Perry really takes a pounding.
Take a look at all the nominations (with the original snarky misspellings and strange abbreviations left intact) for yourself and let us know what your favorites and least favorites are. Who are you pulling for (Rihanna in the Worst Supporting Actress category!)? Is there anything that’s on here unfairly (Vanilla Ice was the best part of that movie!)? Was there a real stinker that they’ve missed (Project X!)?
Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
That’s My Boy!
A Thousand Words
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Katherine Heigl, One For The Money
Milla Jovovich, Resident Evil #5: Retribution
Tyler Perry (In Drag), Madea’s Witless Protection
Kristen Stewart, Snow White and The Huntsman & Twilight S.B.D. #2
Barbra Streisand, Guilt Trip
Nicolas Cage, Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance & Seeking Justice
Eddie Murphy, A Thousand Words
Robert Pattinson, Twilight S.B.D. #2
Tyler Perry (Not in Drag), Alex Cross & Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds
Adam Sandler, That’s My Boy!
Worst Supporting Actress
Jessica Biel, Playing For Keeps & Total Recall
Brooklyn Decker, Battleship & What To Expect When You’re Expecting
Ashley Green, Twilight S.B.D. #2
Jennifer Lopez, What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Worst Supporting Actor
David Hasselhoff (as “Himself”), Pirannha 3-DD
Taylor Lautner, Twilight S.B.D. #2
Liam Neeson, Battleship & Wrath of the Titans
Nick Swardson, That’s My Boy
Vanilla Ice (as “Himself”), That’s My Boy
Worst Screen Couple
Any Combination of Two Cast Members from “Jersey Shore”, The Three Stooges
Mackenzie Foy (as “Little Renesmee”) & Taylor Lautner, Twilight: S.B.D. #2
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart, Twilight: S.B.D. #2
Tyler Perry & His Drag Get-Up, Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witless Protection
Adam Sandler and either Leighton Meester, Andy Samberg, or Susan Sarandon, That’s My Boy
Sean Anders, That’s My Boy
Peter Berg, Battleship
Bill Condon, Twilight S.B.D. #2
Tyler Perry, Good Deeds & Madea’s Witless Protection
John Putch, ATLAS SHRUGGED: PART II
Worst Screen Ensemble
The Entire Cast of Battleship
The Entire Cast of Oogieloves inThe Big Balloon Adventure
The Entire Cast of That’s My Boy
The Entire Cast of Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn, Part 2
The Entire Cast of Madea’s Witless Protection
Atlas Shrugged: Part II
That’s My Boy!
A Thousand Words
Twilight S.B.D. #2