Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Thank you, Arnold Schwarzenegger, for clarifying this important aspect of the next Terminator. Because we, the foolish fools who assumed that a film called Terminator Genesis would employ proper spelling for both title and subtitle, were dead wrong. Terminator 5 is not Terminator Genesis.

It’s Terminator: Genisys.

Never mind that the words “Genesis” and “Genisys” are pronounced identically — we think (we’re in for a fun surprise come trailer time otherwise). This new Terminator is a unique and special film that deserves a spelling unlike any other film in existence, not unlike those parents who name their child Caitlin, but spelled “Kaitlynn.” In both cases, those in charge of naming should be smacked upside the head with a dictionary.

Schwarzenegger himself announced the title, in a post to Instagram (a genius move, as the folks pasting Instagram filters on fifty photos a day are also the ones most likely to name their Caitlins with “Kaitlynn” and their Terminators with “Genisys“). Alongside a message praising the director, the camera crew and the caterers (among others), Schwarzenegger included a picture of himself, proudly seated in a chair marked with that same Daily Jumble of a title.

There’s no denying it: Terminator: Genisys is a terrible title. A letter salad, word-traffic-collision, Autocorrect misfire of a title that should probably not be connected to any film in any way.

But does a crappy title guarantee a crappy movie? No, not necessarily. There is an exception to this rule, that when sifting amongst the wreckage of 2 Fast 2 Furious or Sssssss, you’ll eventually come upon a Se7en (see? Even David Fincher makes mistakes sometimes, creating a title that when pronounced correctly sounds like a brand of Swedish moose jerky).

Terminator: Genisys could very well justify its rash of stupidity, so long as it explains just what a Genisys is. And if Genisys is the 2010s version of Cyberdyne Systems, or has something to do with the time-travel gobbledygook we’ve continually heard the story might be about, then seeing this goofball made-up word imprinted alongside all future Terminator marketing might not be so cringe-worthy. It’d be like titling a film Terminator Skynet or Terminator Cyberdyne. Lacking any smidgeon of creativity, yes. Initially ridiculous-sounding, yes. But not brain aneurysm baffling like Journey 2: The Mysterious Island.

And hey, as a worst case scenario, Terminator Genisys can just call a do-over and go back to a title that won’t have millions of people struggling to suppress a giggle. Final Destination 5 did it. First, the film was set as Final Destination 5. Then, a studio-wide lapse of rational thought gave us this winner: 5nal Destination. Then, about two months later, Warner Bros.’ opium high started to fade, and they launched back with a quick “hey no we were just kidding about that 5nal thing; please laugh at our funny joke.”

So if the pointing and laughing at Terminator: Genisys continues, we could have another Instagram message waiting for us. This time, with correct spelling.

Terminator: Genisys hits theaters July 1, 2015.


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