A general rule of thumb to follow when dealing with modern Nic Cage movies is that the more ridiculous his hair looks in the trailer, the more awesomely bad the movie is going to end up being. Given that criteria, it doesn’t seem like his latest film, Stolen, is really going to be anything to write home about. Just look at that relatively short, slicked back, graciously-accepting-the-receding-nature-of-the-hairline do that he’s sporting here—it’s almost typical for a man his age. Given the apparent lack of lunacy, is Stolen even going to be worth watching?
Maybe. It’s important to keep in mind that this project is re-teaming the actor with his Con Air director, Simon West, and Con-Air is one of the seminal, balls-crazy Nic Cage action films. He plays a character named Cameron Poe in that one, for heaven’s sake. There’s bound to be at least some residual craziness seeping into this one, even if Cage has people hair and is playing a character named Will Montgomery.
We do know that there’s at least one scene where Cage awkwardly holds a teddy bear in public. And Josh Lucas does seem to be pretty creepy playing some sort of cab-driving villain who looks like one of the bank robber surfers from Point Break if they got into meth. Plus, making a movie about a kidnapped daughter called Stolen after Liam Neeson had so much success getting his daughter kidnapped in Taken lends the whole thing a B-grade, ripoff charm. It looks like we’ll just have to hope that this one has enough stupid action in it (which it seems to) to make up for Cage’s lack of locks, and that he’s currently sitting in a chair and getting some form of ridiculous extensions weaved into his head for whatever he’s doing next. Stolen is set to hit theaters on September 14, but true Cage fans will start camping in line a couple days early.