On Friday, Russian Communist Party members condemned Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, saying that it was cruse, anti-Soviet propaganda that distorts history. They also called for it to be banned from Russian screens.
In the film, Cate Blanchett stars as an evil KGB agent who competes with Indiana Jones, played by Harrison Ford, to find a crystal skull that is supposed to have mystic powers. Her goal is to use it for mind warfare, to control the minds of Americans and ultimately turn them into communists. The work of fiction takes some liberties when it comes to the Cold War, including having Russian spies in the United States raiding military bunkers in search of the skulls, but apparently that was enough to enrage the current generation of Commies.
“What galls is how together with America we defeated Hitler, and how we sympathized when Bin Laden hit them. But they go ahead and scare kids with Communists. These people have no shame,” said Viktor Perov, a Communist Party member in Russia’s second city of St. Petersburg.
Their criticisms continued with specific attacks on actors Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett, who are apparently being controlled by the CIA: “Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett (are) second-rate actors, serving as the running dogs of the CIA. We need to deprive these people of the right of entering the country,” said another party member, Andrei Gindos.
And finally, the biggest Russian bomb (pun intended) came on Saturday, when Moscow Communist lawmaker Andrei Andreyev said “it is very disturbing if talented directors want to provoke a new Cold War.”
So by their estimations, Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett are puppets of the CIA and director Steven Spielberg is attempting to provoke a new Cold War. I will admit that Hollywood dips its hands into politics more often than they should, but to say that a director made a film solely for the purpose of rekindling long-dead foreign feuds is a little ridiculous.
Russia’s Communist Party, which still seems to not only be active in its government, but also stays pretty competitive when it comes to elections, appears to be seeking some publicity. At least, that is what we can assume based on the fact that their call for a boycott yielded absolutely no other result. According to Reuters, the Russian media is reporting that the film was shown over the weekend on 808 screens in Russia, the widest ever release for a Hollywood movie. Good job Communist Party, your cries for a boycott were heard by absolutely no one — except readers of movie websites in the US. Then again, we are only reporting this because it makes us giggle a little bit. Silly Commies, if we really wanted another Cold War, don’t you think we would have started one by now?