Stephen Sommers Wants Tarzan Doing Parkour

In this world of constant rebooting, reinvention and re-envisioning something is bound to go wrong eventually. And leave it to director extraordinaire Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) to take a relatively harmless franchise such as Tarzan and do something completely ridiculous. As Entertainment Weekly’s Christine Spines is reporting, “Director Stephen Sommers and screenwriter Stuart Beattie (Australia) are ditching the boy-raised-by-apes origin story for a 1930’s-set romp with a hefty helping of romance: Think Pirates of the Caribbean with buffed-and-tanned actors flying through the jungle and sprinting up trees, parkour-style.” 

Hmm, why doesn’t he just his old pal Brendan Fraser as Tarzan. Oh right, they already made that movie. And as much as I would love to see Leslie Mann in a loincloth, I see no reason to bring back anything along the lines of George of the Jungle. And to me, that is what this sounds like — completely ridiculous.

Then again, I’ve been wrong about this before and Stuart Beattie isn’t some hack writer, he’s just one that likes to make a lot of money. Which is why he’s had his name all over the aforementioned Pirates affairs. With his help maybe Sommers can at least get through the script stage with a solid flick, leaving him to burn it back down once the cameras begin to roll. I don’t mean to take all of my fat aggression out on Stephen Sommers here, but lets let facts be facts — he’s given us all three Mummy movies (and he got a writing credit on that straight to DVD Scorpion King 2 shitfest), Deep Rising, the live-action Jungle Book movie and Van Helsing. The latter of which wasn’t actually that bad. But otherwise, this man is the plague for any sword-and-sandals, jungle fever period piece. Seriously, this is a terrible idea.

But enough about what I think. Lets put this to the masses.

What do you think about Stephen Sommers and his parkour-style Tarzan movie?

Neil Miller is the Founder and Publisher of Film School Rejects. For almost a decade, he has been talking movies on television, the radio, and the Internet.

Read More from Neil Miller
Get Film School Rejects in your email. All the cool kids are doing it:
Previous Article
Next Article
Reject Nation
Leave a comment
Comment Policy: No hate speech allowed. If you must argue, please debate intelligently. Comments containing selected keywords or outbound links will be put into moderation to help prevent spam. Film School Rejects reserves the right to delete comments and ban anyone who doesn't follow the rules. We also reserve the right to modify any curse words in your comments and make you look like an idiot. Thank You!