In this world of constant rebooting, reinvention and re-envisioning something is bound to go wrong eventually. And leave it to director extraordinaire Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) to take a relatively harmless franchise such as Tarzan and do something completely ridiculous. As Entertainment Weekly’s Christine Spines is reporting, “Director Stephen Sommers and screenwriter Stuart Beattie (Australia) are ditching the boy-raised-by-apes origin story for a 1930’s-set romp with a hefty helping of romance: Think Pirates of the Caribbean with buffed-and-tanned actors flying through the jungle and sprinting up trees, parkour-style.” 

Hmm, why doesn’t he just his old pal Brendan Fraser as Tarzan. Oh right, they already made that movie. And as much as I would love to see Leslie Mann in a loincloth, I see no reason to bring back anything along the lines of George of the Jungle. And to me, that is what this sounds like — completely ridiculous.

Then again, I’ve been wrong about this before and Stuart Beattie isn’t some hack writer, he’s just one that likes to make a lot of money. Which is why he’s had his name all over the aforementioned Pirates affairs. With his help maybe Sommers can at least get through the script stage with a solid flick, leaving him to burn it back down once the cameras begin to roll. I don’t mean to take all of my fat aggression out on Stephen Sommers here, but lets let facts be facts — he’s given us all three Mummy movies (and he got a writing credit on that straight to DVD Scorpion King 2 shitfest), Deep Rising, the live-action Jungle Book movie and Van Helsing. The latter of which wasn’t actually that bad. But otherwise, this man is the plague for any sword-and-sandals, jungle fever period piece. Seriously, this is a terrible idea.

But enough about what I think. Lets put this to the masses.

What do you think about Stephen Sommers and his parkour-style Tarzan movie?

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