What the hell happened to Facebook today? I logged on and my profile looks completely different. On the right side of my screen, where my “Wall” used to reside and my “Oregon Trail” profile was displayed, there is an ad for Pulte Homes (reaching out to the Facebook elite who can actually afford houses nowadays) and one saying I’m one click away from being able to purchase my “Obama is the New Jesus” t-shirt. But I didn’t come here to tell you about Facebook vomiting a new design across my computer screen.

I came here because Aaron Sorkin has decided he’s going to write a movie about Facebook. Here’s his message:

“Welcome. I’m Aaron Sorkin. I understand there are a few other people using Facebook pages under my name–which I find more flattering than creepy–but this is me. I don’t know how I can prove that but feel free to test me.

I’ve just agreed to write a movie for Sony and producer Scott Rudin about how Facebook was invented. I figured a good first step in my preparation would be finding out what Facebook is, so I’ve started this page. (Actually it was started by my researcher, Ian Reichbach, because my grandmother has more Internet savvy than I do and she’s been dead for 33 years.)”

So, umm, I don’t know why, but apparently Aaron Sorkin has the jones to write a Facebook movie. Although information about the film itself is not available we can assume that Sorkin will be writing about the story of Mark Zuckerberg, a ridiculous billionaire who’s a year younger than I am. Zuckerberg was a Harvard student when he launched Facebook with Harvardites Andrew McCollum, Dustin Moskovitz, and Chris Hughes. Facebook then became the largest social network in the world, overtaking MySpace back in April. Sorkin, I’m sure, will take a sardonic tone with his script and write several scenes where characters have revelations while walking.

The script will most likely focus on the whirlwind of controversy that surrounded Facebook’s launch as well–notably his classmates at Harvard who hired him to do the code for ConnectU claim that Zuckerberg stole their concept. Of course, the lawsuit was settled out of court with the designers of ConnectU agreeing to not file any future claims for an undisclosed amount.

So if you want Aaron Sorkin to read your thoughts about Facebook or just generally want to tell him how much you loved “Sports Night” and “Studio 60,” go check it out. For all I can tell it’s pretty legit and I hope a movie about Facebook takes aim at how utterly ridiculous it is. I mean I use it on a regular basis, but I fucking hate it. I’m not alone either. I did a search in the NEW Facebook for “I Fucking Hate Facebook” and received over 500 groups with those words in their names in my results.

My favorite is “I Fucking Hate Ugly Girls With A Hot Looking Facebook Picture.” Oh, cyberstalking–without you we’d actually have to “talk” to girls before they reject us.


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