This is a question that speaks to the very core of our humanity. How is it possible that trailers have been made that are even worse, more moronic, awkwardly craven, and less funny than the brutal marketing assault that hit us during Operation Yogi Bear?
Who would do this to us? What did we do to deserve this? How do we make it stop? Why is it going after our children?
Cynicism and sarcasm aside, this trailer for The Smurfs might be the single worst piece of film marketing I’ve ever seen in my life. No hyperbole. Not only do jokes not land, they hang in the air begging to be noticed. The events in it are nonsensical to the point that we should all be medically concerned for whomever cut it together.
It just all looks so lazy and low-rent.
What’s worse, they’ve made Neil Patrick Harris do some exceedingly lame physical comedy that looks like it’s aimed at dog-levels of intelligence. Filmmakers, feel free to dumb things down if you must, but at least keep it inside the species.
The horror, the horror…
Did you catch that? They sexualized Smurfette. I get it. The jokes have been floating around for years, and Safe Search still needs to be kept on when doing a search for her, but she’s a cartoon, and this is so clearly a children’s movie. They’ve taken an animated children’s character that’s designed to be as adorable as a plush toy and teased a vagina shot from her.
Everyone involved in this at a decision-making level needs to be punched in the face repeatedly by children and every single copy of this trailer should be burnt even if it means lighting the entire internet on fire.
But, hey, the movie could still be good right?