Shoot This Melon Farmer: Morgan Freeman Might Be The Colonel For ‘Akira’

The Akira remake news train is going to keep plowing forward – so far speeding over Zac Efron, the potential audience and now veteran actor Morgan Freeman.

Freeman is rumored to be circling around the role of the Colonel – a vital component in the story. He’s the closest thing to a father figure the plot has, and he does experiments on a young man that result in turning him into a giant globular monster.

Warning: if you don’t like hearing negative things about Morgan Freeman, do not read on.

Freeman is one of the best actors of our time. He’s an icon of commanding stature and prowess. However, he’s about as threatening as a marshmallow. He’s as threatening as a grandfather with Werther’s Originals-stuffed pockets who’s sitting on a front porch whittling and whistling a happy tune. He is not right for this role.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Some great actors just aren’t right for parts. It seems like a gut reaction to respond with positivity to even the possibility of his casting in a project, but his turn in Wanted proved the difficulty inherent in rising above sweet charm and attempting to be a murderous, cold-hearted maniac.

If the Efron casting is true, and if this casting is true, it just seems like the Hughes Brothers and everyone involved in this is attempting to load the circus with as much stunt casting as possible. Even if this movie had any right to be made, it shouldn’t be made with the wrong people, and all the feigned collective groaning in the world can’t hide the fact that real groaning should be going on.

If you know somebody that knows somebody that knows somebody that has a cousin connected with this film, sit them down calmly, pour them a nice cup of orange spice tea and then toss a bucket of ice water into his or her face. These may be rumors now, but they don’t bode well for the production, and common sense really needs to prevail here.

What do you think?

Source: Bloody D

A veteran of writing about movies for nearly a decade, Scott Beggs has been the Managing Editor of Film School Rejects since 2009. Despite speculation, he is not actually Walter Mathau's grandson. See? He can't even spell his name right.

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