Sometimes you never knew you needed something until it comes along, and once you finally get it, you’re not sure how you’ll be able to live without it ever again. The concept of a “sharknado” is exactly this sort of thing. Sure, we’ve been watching movies that didn’t feature tornadoes full of sharks for over a century now, and for most of that time they’ve felt fairly satisfying, but now that the SyFy channel is bringing us their Ian Ziering and Tara Reid-starring original, Sharknado, it’s hard to imagine how we’ll ever be able to sit through a movie that doesn’t feature a tornado full of sharks ever again.
Click through to watch the new “almost red band” trailer for the film, which features more low rent CGI, washed up actors (and John Heard, poor John Heard), and shark deaths than you can shake a stick at, and which SyFy seems to think might just be “too violent for TV.”
Say what you will about the craftsmanship these monster movies SyFy has regularly taken to producing put on display, if you’re the sort of person who can watch one of the kids from the original 90210 cut a shark who’s flying through the air in half with a chainsaw and not have your blood start to pump just a little bit faster, then chances are you’ve been dead inside for years. SyFy is airing Sharknado tomorrow night, July 11, so plan to pop some popcorn, turn the lights down low, and shut your cell phones off. You’re not going to want to miss a single second of this thing, even if it looks like it’s so shoddily edited you won’t be able to tell what’s happening during most of it anyway. God bless America.