I can’t imagine there are very many Steven Seagal fans left in this world. What would you say if I told you that this man still makes 3 to 4 films a year with HILARIOUS titles like Urban Justice, Pistol Whipped, and Today You Die? Hopefully you would say,”“Goddamn Josh, when is Hollywood going to wise the f*ck up and make a movie pitting two stellar thespians? I’m not talkin’ about Denzel/Crowe style, I’m looking for some gritty, balls-to-the-wall Seagal/Van Damme action!”

Well, prepare to quench that thirst of yours, friend.

Seagal vs. Van Damme just landed director Mark A.Z. Dippe, known mostly for 1997’s Spawn and being a visual effects programmer for films such as Terminator 2 and Jurassic Park. The new film will be about Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme who, in addition to having it out for each other Wily E Coyote/Road Runner style, must join forces and use their physical prowess to stop a nuclear attack. No word yet as to whether or not the real actors will portray themselves.

This reminds me of My Name is Bruce featuring Bruce Campbell as himself being mistaken for Ash from Evil Dead and having to defend a town from a monster attack.

I enjoy it when celebrities can make fun of themselves. However, this film will not be able to survive if Van Damme and Seagal don’t portray themselves. It’ll be just like this MADtv sketch except instead of just under 4 minutes it could be a 90-minute parody of two guys who really haven’t been in the zeitgeist of American pop-culture for some time. If anything this should be the highly debated Chuck Norris vs. Jack Bauer movie instead. THAT might be a tad more relevant.

Like this article? Join thousands of your fellow movie lovers who subscribe to The Weekly Edition from Film School Rejects. Our best articles, every week, right in your inbox!
Comment Policy: No hate speech allowed. If you must argue, please debate intelligently. Comments containing selected keywords or outbound links will be put into moderation to help prevent spam. Film School Rejects reserves the right to delete comments and ban anyone who doesn't follow the rules. We also reserve the right to modify any curse words in your comments and make you look like an idiot. Thank You!
Twitter button
Facebook button
Google+ button
RSS feed

Some movie websites serve the consumer. Some serve the industry. At Film School Rejects, we serve at the pleasure of the connoisseur. We provide the best reviews, interviews and features to millions of dedicated movie fans who know what they love and love what they know. Because we, like you, simply love the art of the moving picture.
Fantastic Fest 2014
6 Filmmaking Tips: James Gunn
Got a Tip? Send it here:
Neil Miller
Managing Editor:
Scott Beggs
Associate Editors:
Rob Hunter
Kate Erbland
Christopher Campbell
All Rights Reserved © 2006-2014 Reject Media, LLC | Privacy Policy | Design & Development by Face3