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Movies that spoof a bunch of other movies that already exist became really popular in the late ’90s. So popular that we’re creeping up on 2013 and people are still putting them out, even though none of them have been remotely watchable for as long as anyone can remember. Why won’t the studios stop punishing us with these painfully lazy, painfully unfunny pseudo-movies? Because far be it from those greed vampires in Hollywood to leave the corpse of any genre alone until they’ve drained it completely dry of every last possible dollar. That being said… MTV has posted a new trailer for Scary Movie 5!

Despite the current state of the spoof genre, we shouldn’t have any fear about this one, right? Because this isn’t one of those lousy Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer movies that are so lazy they don’t even bother to write jokes—Scary Movie 5 was written by spoof veterans David Zucker and Pat Proft, who have credits on things like Kentucky Fried Movie, The Naked Gun, and Hot Shots, so it should probably at least be decent, shouldn’t it? Well, not from the looks of the trailer.

The film’s plot seems to be an amalgamation of the plots of Paranormal Activity and Black Swan, which is weird enough, but the more troubling aspect of this trailer is how much of its humor seems to rely on the audience’s awareness of the personal lives of celebrities in order for the jokes to make any sense. There are references to Lindsay Lohan’s legal troubles, Charlie Sheen’s drug-fueled public freak outs, and even an uncomfortable moment where Katt Williams casually punches someone, which comes right after a string of weeks where Williams couldn’t stop getting arrested for committing myriad real-life assaults.

This tabloid trash would all be off-putting enough even if this trailer didn’t also include a reference to Tyler Perry’s Madea movies. That might be the real crime against our sensibilities. Check out this new ad for yourself, and let us know if you see anything in here that looks like it might actually be salvageable comedy.

 


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