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Remake of Remake of ‘Seven Samurai’ To Have Soccer Instead of Swords

Since everyone, everywhere is remaking everything, “Trainspotting” author Irvine Welsch has decided to remake The Magnificent Seven, the remake of Seven Samurai, as a soccer hooligan story titled The Magnificent Eleven.

I see no reason for calling it a remake.

Of course, we’ve known about this project for almost a full year, but it hasn’t had any steam until now with the casting news (according to ScreenDaily) that Sean Bean and Dougray Scott are joining the football club.

I see the thematic links – a group of people protecting something – which is why instead of pointing out that loosely basing something on something else doesn’t necessarily warrant a similar title (that goes for the original remake as well), I choose to point out that since Avatar featured a group of people protecting something, it should have been called The Magnificent Blue One Thousand.

Screen Daily describes the plot quickly by highlighting the groups involved:

the Cowboys are a local amateur soccer team, the Indians run a nearby Tandoori restaurant and the bandits are a group of menacing thugs run by a maniac called Blonde Bob.

So it’s not a remake of Shaolin Soccer? Or Shaolin Soccer meets Bend It Like Beckham?

I’m confused.

The on-the-nose elements are a little bit stupid, but if the movie handles them that way it could be a lot of fun. I’m also unclear as to whether a bunch of people will get killed on the pitch, but I’ve got my fingers crossed.

I also have them crossed that the name will eventually change to The Bloody Eleven.

What do you think?

A veteran of writing about movies for nearly a decade, Scott Beggs has been the Managing Editor of Film School Rejects since 2009. Despite speculation, he is not actually Walter Mathau's grandson. See? He can't even spell his name right.

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