Inglorious BastardsQuentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Bastards is quickly becoming the day-time-television version of Saving Private Ryan. First there was the news that Eli Roth would be in it. On film. Like, directly in the shot with lines and everything. Then, we got word that DiCaprio was out, B.J. Novak and Simon Pegg were in. Now, comes the one-two punch of hearing that Samm Levine, who you may know from “Freaks and Geeks” and Mike Meyers, who you may know from Being Really Annoying, are reporting for duty.

So, this is supposed to be a comedy right? A comedy about killing Nazis? Right?

Variety dropped the bomb that Meyers would be cast as a British officer. It makes sense, since all those hilarious impressions he does of non-Canadians are spot on and not at all cartoonish or mildly racialist. That handsome devil, Beaks, over at Ain’t It Cool followed up by reporting that Samm Levine was on board.

Now, I and many other Freaks and Geeks fans will demand Samm Levine’s character wear a baby blue jumpsuit into battle, but this time, he has to march slo-mo to ELO’s ‘Showdown.’ I’m sure QT can afford the royalties for it.

Mike Myers and Sam LevineSo far, the casting for this mess has been almost beyond comment. I feel like any minute Sacha Baron Cohen is going to rip off his Quentin Tarantino mask after the next press conference announcing Carrot Top as Col. Landa, and we’ll all breathe a sigh of relief when the real cast list is revealed. We’ll all feel a little foolish (you got us again, Borat!), but ultimately we’ll feel a lot better. So far, Mike Meyers is the cherry on top of a shit-casting sundae.

On a side note, I purposefully avoided writing “Mike Meyers will be a Bastard,” to avoid possible confusion that the serial killer from Halloween would be joining QT and the gang.

On a side, side note, how cool would it be if Michael Meyers had joined the crew, his lumbering presence slowly making its way across occupied France, ripping through the flesh of Nazis who desperately, wantonly splay his figure with round after armor-piercing round only to realize that, to their horror, he can’t be killed.

Digressions aside, it’s way too far away from April 1st for this thing to be a hoax. Although, I still contend that the film will never actually get made, right now, even some of the actors have to be shaking their heads and wondering why the hell they were cast in this thing. Stay tuned to FSR the next few days when we announce that Tarantino has hired Ray Romano to play Hitler.


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