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A Heartless Paramount Ruins Chances of Next Adam Sandler Movie Being Scrapped

Comic actor Adam Sandler, his production company Happy Madison, and Sony Pictures all have a rich history of working together. They’ve brought us a litany of steaming piles of comedy crap, including titles like Grown Ups, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, and the Kevin James-starring Paul Blart: Mall Cop. And, despite the fact that Sandler’s last horrible excuse for a comedy that he made with Sony, That’s My Boy, didn’t perform up to the standards of his previous films, all indications have been that the studio and Sandler were still perfectly happy in their relationship and ready to continue work on a Grown Ups sequel and then some sort of untitled Western comedy.

But recently there was a glimmer of hope. Sony has been experiencing some money troubles, and has, as THR puts it in their report of all this inside baseball stuff, started, “actively seeking partners, divesting and abandoning specific projects.” This means that guys like Sandler, who may be showing signs of slowing down as an earner, are starting to look like a bigger risk to the studio, and that they’re less likely to fund risky projects unless they can get some sort of partner to come on board and split the cost. Suddenly, that untitled Western comedy was in trouble. Might it be possible that it could get put in turnaround, thus sparing us from having to see another terrible Adam Sandler comedy for a few years?

Not a chance. Instead of dealing with a potential financial quagmire over at Sony, Sandler has taken his film to Paramount, who are more than happy to help him get it made. So, thanks to the people at Paramount, we can now all look forward to a sub-City Slickers 2: The Legends of Curly’s Gold Western comedy from Happy Madison sometime in the coming years; presumably one that will include Sandler and Nick Swardson riding in a buggy behind a gassy horse, and whatever brown-skinned, 19-year-old underwear model that happens to be new on the scene at the moment playing Sandler’s Native American love interest.

Goddamn you, Paramount, we were so close.

Weaned on the genre films of the 80s. Reared by the independent movement of the 90s. Earned a BA for writing stuff in the 00s. Reviews current releases at templeofreviews.com

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