‘Nutcracker 3D’ Trailer: Nuts. Will. Crack.

The new trailer for The Nutcracker 3D has been unleashed unto the world and it promises to eat everyone’s children forever. The classic tale of a wooden nut opener come to life hits the big screen in November courtesy of Russian director Andrei Konchalovsky (who hasn’t had a recognizable flick since probably Tango and Cash).

Bear witness to its horrors and go tell them on the mountain. The people of the earth need to know just how brutal and terrifying this children’s film looks.

Before you ask, yes, that’s John Turturro. Apparently you can fuck with the Jesus.

It’s also nice to see that the facial appendages from the live action Grinch movie are still being put to good use.

In all fairness, some of the imagery looks fantastical and interesting, but there’s nothing like child actors reading their lines like they would the ingredients in breakfast cereal to drain the life right out of something magical.

On the plus side, you have to love it whenever Tchaitovsky earns a credit for film work. Hardly anyone appreciates the classics anymore.

What do you think? Do you fear Rat Turturro as much as you should?

Enjoy the fear in hi-res over at Apple.

A veteran of writing about movies for nearly a decade, Scott Beggs has been the Managing Editor of Film School Rejects since 2009. Despite speculation, he is not actually Walter Mathau's grandson. See? He can't even spell his name right.

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