Noah Crowe 1

The trailer for Darren Aronofsky‘s Noah has arrived, bringing with it Russell Crowe, Emma Watson, Jennifer Connelly, and two of every creature on the Earth. But not all those other people panicking on land — screw them. It’s the story, of course, of the age-old biblical tale of Noah’s ark; in the Old Testament, God decides that he’s had enough with the world and its people’s sinning ways, so he calls upon Noah with a very specific task — build a massive ark big enough to fit himself, his family and two of every animal. All those outside the boat will be washed away with the sins of the world by a devastating, unfathomable flood.

Needless to say, Aronofsky’s vision of the Great Flood is a crashing, gargantuan force that makes that wave that swallowed the Statue of Liberty in the Day After Tomorrow look like some prime surfing territory.

The inclusion of Anthony Hopkins as Noah’s one-time confidant and now enemy (you’d be kind of mad if your friend wouldn’t let you on his homemade cruise ship to save you from certain death) indicates a facet to the movie that’s not so biblically-driven; there’s the visions of God and the rows of beautiful CGI animals filing into the ark, but there’s also an all-out war going on, for those who may be hesitant to take in a film based on one of those most famous religious stories. Clearly, we know who’s going to win here, though (it’s God).

In terms of the bigger picture, Noah, which has been undergoing some production problems in the last year, is likely to be the catalyst in the new age of biblical epics once this trailer makes the rounds. With several biblical tale movies already in the works — after many years without a rollicking, terrifying voice-of-God adventure — it’s suddenly going to be en vogue again to delve back into the Word of the Lord. As of now, there are two movies about Moses in development, because parting the Red Sea is probably going to look awesome on the big screen.

Ang Lee has reportedly been tapped to direct one, Gods and Kings, originally helmed by Steven Spielberg. The other, directed by Ridley Scott, is called Exodus, and has Christian Bale starring as the leader of the Israelites. Among the rest of the star-studded cast is Aaron Paul as the Hebrew slave Joshua, who leads the people in the Promised Land after Moses.

A Pontius Pilate movie is even coming down the pipes, because when you think about people from the Bible who need their own film and backstory, it’s the man who decided that Jesus should die. It’s okay, though — Brad Pitt is currently in the running to handsome-up the crucifixion. He’s already got the hair for the job.

Rounding off the in-development biblical movies is perhaps the most bizarre adaptation, and somehow the one that makes a lot of sense: Redemption of Cain, the Will Smith-starring story of Cain and Abel, but with a vampire twist. Vampire brother-murder? As our own Scott Beggs pointed out in the story I linked to, Smith is tackling two important trends with this film: he’s hooking the teens with their somehow still unwavering passion for the undead, and hopping on the Bible bandwagon real quick. Is God a vampire?

That, and other important questions will be answered in the coming years as the Jesus wave continues to be ridden while the biblical fad remains in style.

Noah is in theaters March 28, 2014.


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