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Navigating the Mind-Numbing Onslaught of ‘Batman vs. Superman’ Rumors

Look, I know we all love Batman. His cool gadgets. His imposing figure. The way he dresses like a diminutive winged mammal and punches people in the head. And with the latest non-LEGO incarnation of the caped crusader still a few years away, things can be a little tough sometimes. We all need our coping mechanisms- maybe revisit earlier Batman films, pick up a comic book or swallow fistfuls of gravel in an attempt to sound more like Christian Bale.

Well, the Internet’s coping mechanism seems to have involved a mass explosion of Batman vs. Superman rumors, many of which may or may not be completely insane. First came Robin/Nightwing. Then, The Flash and Wonder Woman. Now, the floodgates have opened, and out comes an endless stream of potential leaked info. Kevin Smith claimed to have seen a picture of Ben Affleck in full Bat-mode, after which he “instantly bear-hugged [Zack Snyder].” According to Smith, the suit will have no Bat-nipples (note: the image above is not what Smith saw, and rather an unofficial image by Steve Scott, who worked on the Dark Knight comic book adaptation). Then, according to Latino Review, Jackie Earle Haley auditioned for a role. Did he get it? Nope. Do we even know what role it was? No idea.

The same day, ComicBookMovie had its own cornucopia of scoops. According to their reports, the film will see a Lex Luthor who “likes to dabble in ‘fringe’ science,” and has plans to build his own power armor to take Superman down. James Purefoy, of Rome and The Following fame, has apparently auditioned for Luthor and been turned down. As well, WB is looking to cast an African-American woman as Batman’s love interest, apparently a serious relationship, as she’ll already know his secret identity. If this were true (and there’s essentially zero proof one way or the other), it’d mean all those white ladies in the running for a “female lead” are probably going after Wonder Woman and not Batman’s lady friend.

The rumor mill doesn’t end here. The latest one comes from Daniel Alter, who tweeted:

Can’t wait for #BatmanvsSuperman.. #batfleck semi-retired/not speaking to Robin anymore.. Controlling drones from the batcave.

— Daniel Alter (@DAlter007) November 15, 2013

 

Yes, Alter is a film producer, with a number of upcoming projects- adaptations of Johnny Quest and the video game Kane & Lynch. But Alter has essentially zero connection to Batman vs. Superman, so it’s just one more rumor to be passed around and then discarded, like a flask of cheap whiskey around a cowboy campfire.

So for now, you’re all caught up on the endless rumors being leaked solely to cause mass hysteria. Yet it’s all but inevitable that the next few months will be littered with similar announcements. Please, for your sake, take each and every one of them- including all the ones mentioned above- with copious grains of salt. Sure, eventually some of these tidbits may creep towards legitimacy. Other, more legitimate sources have commented on the possibility of Robin and/or Nightwing, and the presence of female actors means there will be at least one woman in Batman vs. Superman. But a stopped clock is right twice a day and a million monkeys with a million typewriters might secretly include William Shakespeare in a monkey costume. For now, just like when Bryan Cranston was supposedly Lex Luthor, let’s take all these rumors as rumors. The moment Ben Affleck announces that he will be piloting Bat-drones is the correct time to assume Bat-drones will be a part of Batman vs. Superman.

But just to add to the pile, I can confirm that a source closely involved with Batman vs. Superman (that may or may not be my left hand stuffed into a sock puppet) has told me Samuel L. Jackson will be making a cameo in the film as Nick Fury, and will recruit Superman, but not Batman, into the Avengers.

Adam Bellotto is a freelancer writer from Virginia who moved to California because movies are super neat. His work can also be read at Perihelion Science Fiction and Starpulse, among other places.

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