The internet may collapse under the sheer weight of my rage, thanks to the major internet provider who continues to give me crap service and charge me handsomely for it each and every month, but that won’t stop us from doing the news this evening. Not when Stephen Sommers, Johnny Knoxville, Edgar Wright and Chinese Bigfoot are all making headlines on the same day! Lets get right to it, dear readers. You know you want to…

Stephen Sommers will not return to the G.I. Joe franchise for the second (and possibly third) installments. This could lead to a directorial upgrade for Paramount, who has already upgraded writing talent from Stuart Beattie to the Zombieland team of Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick. Who knows, a second G.I. Joe might actually be good, and not just by the standards of people like yours truly.

David Fincher’s eternally bland drama The Social Network is returning to theaters after winning every critics award imaginable (save for the Austin Film Critics award for Best Pic, but only because I threatened to put bags of flaming feces on the porches of members who voted for it). The odd part is that it will be hitting theaters again January 7, four days prior to it hitting DVD and Blu-ray. This movie’s need for attention is unmatched.

Columbia Pictures has released a slew of new images from its 2011 slate, including a new shot from the Jesse Eisenberg-led comedy 30 Minutes or Less (seen above). My favorite of the batch is the following image of Kevin James staring down a gorilla in The Zookeeper. This may be the most poignant shot of James’ career:

A campaign has begun for Jackass 3D to win Best Picture at this year’s Oscars. This would be considered to be clever and perhaps even funny in some circles, if Piranha 3D hadn’t pulled the exact same gag months ago when it hit theaters. Sorry Paramount, but I’m going with the Saving Private Ryan-esque maritime bloodbath. It had more nude coeds.

A movie called Primary Zone will feature an “Avatar-like” rendition of a mythical Big Foot creature in China. It will be presented in glorious 3D. If done well, it sounds like it could be incredible. Or awful. Or both. Or everything all at once. Chinese Bigfoot in 3D.

The following “Making of TRON: Legacy” featurette is pretty excellent. Yes, I understand that many of you didn’t like it. Personally, I dug it even more the second time around.

My parting gift to you this evening is a series of posters for the films (and non-films) of director Edgar Wright. It’s no secret that I’ve had a nerd crush on the man since his Spaced days, and these posters make me warm on the inside. Below is but one of a series that includes Shaun of the Dead, Scott Pilgrim, Hot Fuzz and the ever-elusive Don’t. Enjoy the full set on Flickr.


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