Movie News After Dark: Tom Selleck’s Mustache, Fat Mac, Gosling’s Grit and 5 Years of Rifftrax

What is Movie News After Dark? For starters, it’s not a nightly movie news column that would usually lead with such a weak top story. However, any chance to lead with Tom Selleck’s mustache should be seized. So there you have it folks, now lets get on with it.

Until this evening, I was not even aware that there were rumors of Adam Sandler putting together a remake of Three Men and a Baby starring David Spade, Chris Rock and Rob Schneider. Or perhaps I did know and have since blocked it out of my memory. That happens. Anyway, we can all rest easy, as Disney says it isn’t happening.

Fellow Apple TV owners and cable television protesters, this one is for you. Apple today launched their iCloud TV service, with which you can watch — via the Cloud — any television shows you’ve purchased without having to download them to your computer. Yay, cloud! Also, this means I might finally be able to go back and watch Rubicon, which I may have accidentally deleted in one of those “I need room for Breaking Bad!” moments.

FX has released a trailer for the upcoming season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, one of the most consistently funny things on the planet. Yes, the planet. In September, we’ll all get to meet Fat Mac. It’s really happening:

The design-crazy (or perhaps crazy design) folks over at Abduzeedo want to show you how to make The Dark Knight Rises poster in photoshop. They make it look easy. I assure you the actual poster took a Warner Bros. marketing intern at least 37 work hours to complete.

Sin Nombre director Cary Fukunaga has officially signed on to Spaceless, a new drama at Universal that “focuses on an assassin who wakes up inside a spacesuit drifting through the void and accompanied only by a computer designed to keep him company until his air runs out and he dies.” It’s got a little bit of 2001 in it, which I think is cool. He’s a very capable director, so it will be interesting to see how it all turns out.

Over at Hero Complex, The Amazing Spider-Man director Mark Webb explains why the web-shooters are back. Spoiler alert: he’s just old school like that. Also in Spider-Man news, new high resolution images were released today. Here’s a shot of Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) and his dame Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone). They do look like a happy(ish) couple. I do love the scaly detail in that suit:

FilmDistrict has released the poster for their upcoming release Drive, which continues to get some red hot buzz. Our own Jack Giroux gave it extremely high praise in his review at Comic-Con, while festival reviews have also been very strong. The poster is simple, gritty, Steve McQueeny. Not bad.

For those wondering — and this does include yours truly — the upcoming Total Recall remake will include a three-boobed woman. Please go about the rest of your evening with confidence in the fact that everything is as it should be.

“As a cultural radical I can’t make a film about the sexual evolution of a woman from zero to 50 without showing penetration. I know it’s something very European. […] That doesn’t mean it will be a porn film. It’s principally a film with a lot of sex in it and also a lot of philosophy.” That’s Lars von Trier describing Nymphomania, his next project. It will chronicle a five-decade sexual evolution of one woman. On a related note, I’ll watch anything Lars von Trier puts on film. Because he’s relentlessly interesting.

If I weren’t currently entrenched in three different books at once, I would definitely be reading along with Drew McWeeney and his Travis McGee Book Club, a long and loving tribute to the work of John D. McDonald. This excellent project got underway today with a discussion on “The Deep Blue Good-by.” Perhaps I’ll get through “Robopocalypse” and try to catch up.

We close tonight with a celebration of 5 years of Rifftrax, the show born out of the cancellation of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It’s great to see that Mike Nelson and the crew still have it, especially in a world that includes Twilight movies:

Neil Miller is the Founder and Publisher of Film School Rejects. For almost a decade, he has been talking movies on television, the radio, and the Internet. As of yet, no one has stopped him.

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