Movie News After Dark: Battleship Rihanna, Why The Dark Knight Rises Will Suck, Short Circuit is Alive and Carl Sagan, Yo

What is Movie News After Dark? It is our nightly promise to keep you on the up-and-up in the world of movie news, interesting links, strange occurrences and developments in the world of Breaking Bad. It is also breaking new ground this evening by defying popular opinion on the new Batman movie and featuring stories about not one, but two pop stars!

Tonight’s top story, a first look at pop star Rihanna in Battleship, making her big screen debut as a member of the Naval squad who happen upon some Transformers-esque alien tech in the middle of the ocean and are forced to battle it out via a decades-old board game. B2! Oh, you sunk my interest in her character.

It was reported today that Ben Roethlisberger and some of his Pittsburgh Steeler teammates would take part in a scene for The Dark Knight Rises. As a born and bred child of Cleveland, Ohio — which makes me an infallible expert in this area — I can confirm that anything connected with Ben Roethlisberger and/or the Pittsburgh Steelers does, in fact, suck. Therefore, it is an indisputable fact that The Dark Knight Rises will suck based upon such association. This makes me sad, as a son of Cleveland and a human. For those confused, this a reference to professional sports loyalties. Seriously, Pittsburgh can suck it.

Speaking of The Dark Knight Rises — which is now destined to be terrible, mind you — you may have heard that a first image of Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle/Catwoman pawed its way onto the web earlier today. And in all of the chatter around her hip tech glasses and skin-tight bodysuit, the best analysis award goes to Geeks of Doom, who have an in-depth breakdown of Catwoman’s new look.

Cracked has put together a gallery of awesome B-movie posters for classic mainstream films, including this inspired VHS cover-art for Fargo, priced at $1.99. Brilliant, I say.

Word on the street is that Game of Thrones director Brian Kirk is in the running to direct Thor 2 for Marvel. Drew at HitFix has an adept analysis of why this might be the case, citing Kirk’s apt handling of the fantasy elements in Thrones as a precursor to why he might be successful giving orders to the hammer-wielding hero.

Vulture has published an excellent interview with Breaking Bad‘s Jonathan Banks, better known as henchman Mike. He talks about Mike’s role in the villainy and Bryan Cranston’s hard-workingness.

According to Deadline, Hop director Tim Hill has signed on to direct a remake of the 80s film Short Circuit. In related news, film critic Drew McWeeney was seen on Twitter causing a stir when he insinuated that it was laughable that folks think the original Short Circuit is good. How foolish of him, that movie is brilliant.

Artist Marko Manev has put together a series of minimalist posters for each of The Avengers, which we discovered via the folks at Geek Tyrant. Personally, I’m not over the moon for anything minimalist like the rest of the internet, but I do love the stuff from Olly Moss and I would definitely put this Captain America piece on my wall:

For those dreading the year 2012, as it may be the year the world ends (damn Mayans!), consider this bit of good news: it will be the year in which Desperate Housewives comes to an end. I’d call that a win for humanity.

I’ll be damned if The Hunger Games adaptation isn’t getting some serious talent. To supplement the first unit work of director Gary Ross, Steven Soderbergh will direct some second-unit footage. Those are going to be some wicked establishing shots.

Chances are that most of you are already not fans of both Brett Ratner and The Academy Awards, so this won’t change any your mind in any way. Ratner will co-produce The Oscars, giving you one more reason not to pay attention to either. In news for folks who care about The Oscars, just think, there’s no way it can be as bad as last year’s show.

Until I saw her perform on Saturday Night Live last season, I was not aware of this person called Nicki Minaj. Since then, I’ve learned about her potty-mouthed hippity hop music and as a man of taste, I can say that I’ve enjoyed a few of her joints. Now Ms. Minaj is joining Ice Age 4‘s voice cast, and I’m happy to report that I can report this news with the knowledge of exactly who she is. See, SNL is still good for something.

We close tonight with Seth MacFarlane and Carl Sagan, a pair you didn’t expect to be sending you to bed. Fox has greenlit a MacFarlane produced Cosmos: A Space-Time Odyssey, based on the popular PBS series in which Carl Sagan explored the vast history of the universe with other great scientific minds. According to the Family Guy creator, it will be a serious, “profound reminder” of the importance of science. It will only be entertaining if he autotunes it:

Neil Miller is the Founder and Publisher of Film School Rejects. For almost a decade, he has been talking movies on television, the radio, and the Internet. As of yet, no one has stopped him.

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