‘Monster Trucks’ Is a Film That is Happening, Because Hey, Why Not

Monster Trucks

Following the success of The LEGO Movie, it’s naturally en vogue for studios to immediately rush out and peg the next toy-based film to match the same magic. Though there have been toy centric films in the past that haven’t quite mustered up as much sheer joy, rave reviews or the approval of entire families — giving you very pointed side-eye, Battleship — now that it’s safe to say that LEGO is a box office hit, it’s time to move on to the next big adventure.

The latest film to make it out of Toys ‘R Us and toward the big screen is Monster Trucks, Paramount’s big-budget answer to the Transformers franchise, except starring some Hasbro branded Tonka trucks. Few details are given about the film at this point, except to say that the flick, directed by Ice Age‘s Chris Wedge and written by Kung Fu Panda‘s Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger, has a plot that’s a cross between The Goonies and Transformers. So, what it sounds like the world is getting sometime in the near future is a Transformers Lite for the kiddie set, minus the LaBeouf and the violence and very PG-13 suggestive sexual content.

Of course, that will be replaced with a rollicking children’s adventure that may or may not include best friendship, a chase down by bad guys, hidden treasure and a giant pirate ship. Aren’t those necessary if you’re going to name check The Goonies? The most important question of all: does the Transformers comparison mean that a monster truck, at some point in the film, gracefully morphs into the most beautiful being of all, Truckasaurus?

Along for the ride in the giant plastic monster trucks (if we’re going true to the toy’s form) are Lucas Till (the X-Men franchise) and Jane Levy (Evil Dead, Suburgatory). In ever so original character tropes, Till will be portraying a bad boy with a heart of gold who crosses paths with Levy, described as “what one might imagine Tina Fey was like in high school.” While that probably means they’re going for cute, bespectacled, and funny with a killer sarcastic bite, anyone who ever read “Bossypants” knows that the real high school-aged Tina Fey was awkward and weird and liked to hang out with older community theater actors in her spare time.

This probably also means that the bad boy who’s just misunderstood (because he drives a monster truck??) and the sarcastic girl who would never give him the time of day in high school are going to fall in love during some great climactic moment of the movie — please, for the love of all that is holy and can be bought in the toy section at Target — let it happen during a very pivotal and game-changing monster truck rally. Do it for Truckasaurus.

In childhood, Samantha had a Mary Katherine Gallagher-esque flair for the dramatic, as well as the same penchant for Lifetime original movies. And while she can still quote the entire monologue from A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story, her tastes in film have luckily changed. During an interview, director Tommy Wiseau once called her a “good reporter, but not that intimidating if we’re being honest.” She once lived in Chinatown and told her neighbor Jake to “forget it” so many times that he threatened to stop talking to her.

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