[FSR Retro] Media Upstart Ted Turner to Gamble on 24-Hour News Network

Editor’s Note: This article was part of our April Fools 2010 project, in which our site was transported back to April 1, 1980. To see all of the retro articles written for this event, please visit our April Fools 2010 Homepage.

Television channel owner and cable advocate Ted Turner thinks that the nightly news just isn’t enough for you.  Not content to rebroadcast old movies and funnies through his WTCG-TV Super-Station network, Turner has announced plans to launch the Cable News Network (CNN) this summer.

The network will supposedly broadcast nothing but news from now until the end of the world if Turner is to be taken at his word.  The husband and wife team of David Walker and Lois Hart will anchor the first newscast.

We’d like to know if you dudes dig this?  To me, it sounds like a pretty bad idea. Who wants to watch news all day and night?  Is there even enough going on during the day to justify this?  I think it’ll only be a matter of months before CNN is rebranded from “Cable News” to something people would rather watch.  “CartooN Network” perhaps?  I know I’d rather watch Saturday morning repeats than a husband and wife tag-team of boring news reporting.

The network reportedly cost $20 million to get set up and will feature such ‘entertaining’ shows as “Moneyline” and “Evans and Novak.” This just smells like a bad idea to me.  Count me out.

Would you watch news 24 hours a day 7 days a week?

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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