machete iphone

No, Machete doesn’t have time to run a twitter account – he has orders from the President (played by some guy named Carlos Estevez) to head down to Mexico and stop a missile from hitting the White House. Good thing his iPhone is equipped with a smaller machete instead of a useless twitter app.

Danny Trejo is back in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills, and oh does he ever live up to that title. Now contracted by the government TO KILL, Machete has to stop south of the border villain Mel Gibson — who frankly looks like he’s having the time of his life — from succeeding in his dastardly ways.

Though Machete’s got help from a lot of badass babes on his side, Gibson has a “super soldier” army to fight. Sofia Vergara is a standout as some kind of militant fembot, as well as Lady Gaga, who appears in part of the film disguised as Cuba Gooding Jr. Sidenote: How great would it be if we found out the real Cuba Gooding Jr. was just Lady Gaga in disguise this whole time? She would be the greatest actress of our lifetime.

Check out the trailer here:

Machete Kills is going to be insane – there’s no other way to put it. Rodriguez’s standard grindhouse/B-movie style means over-the-top everything, and for a movie like this, it’s welcome. Jessica Alba, Amber Heard, Michelle Rodriguez, Antonio Banderas, Demián Bichir, William Sadler and Vanessa Hudgens also star.

Machete Kills is in theaters October 11th.


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