Kevin Smith Continues His Retirement With ‘Comes the Krampus’

If you’ve kept up with Kevin Smith recently, you’ve probably noticed that he was never really clued in on the news of his retirement that he announced. While it was once reported that Clerks III would be the writer and director’s final film, he’s since started crafting a whole new slate of films

With Tusk, the story of a podcaster who goes missing and winds up in the clutches of a lonely seafarer just looking for someone to fill his human-sized walrus suit for awhile (bummer), Smith has his thriller quota almost completed. After production wraps, he’ll be moving on to the long-awaited Clerks III on April 7. And eventually, we’ll also be getting the apocalypse flick Helena Handbag — that one where mankind and Hell team up to defeat a vengeful, murderous Jesus. It might be awhile before we see that one.

Just in case you thought he might be slacking on the production front while playing shuffleboard, Smith has another project in the works that came about based on a conversation on the Edumacation podcast; that makes this the third screenplay to come out of podcasting, with Tusk and Helena Handbag being the other two (maybe we should all get one?). Smith and comedy writer Andy McElfresh have teamed up to make Christmas a little bleaker by finally bringing the tale of The Krampus to the big screen.

Sure, when you think of Christmas cheer, Santa Claus is probably the first person to pop into your head. But  Comes the Krampus will give another iconic holiday character his due time, the “Scandinavian/German kid-eating creature” who makes things very difficult for those on the naughty list each year. The film will be set up as an anthology to showcase four separate stories about the European parenting tool, in what’s essentially Smith’s answer to George A. Romero and Stephen King‘s classic Creepshow.

Though the project is just in the early, early stages — a screenplay and a blog post announcement are all we have thus far, so some details may likely change — Smith outlined what each installment of Krampus will bring to all the doomed girls and boys. First, McElfresh will direct The Krampus vs. The 3rd Grade (“SO fucked up” – Kevin Smith), followed by Jason MewesHitler’s Krampus, a “twisted period piece,” and Smith’s own Mask Maker, a gothic horror episode. Carol Banker, Smith’s script supervisor, will direct The Proposal, which is self-reportedly “fucking nuts.”

Smith’s wife Jennifer Schwalbach is taking the helm on The Bad Babysitter, the piece that serves as the framing device for the whole anthology. I’m taking a stab in the dark here and assuming that Krampus is the babysitter. A bad one.

So far the plan is to shoot on the heels of Clerks III, with a $2M budget. It’s worth noting that this is the first time that Smith has co-written a screenplay before; maybe the giving holiday spirit of a deadly child-eating beast will inspire some new collaborations (even outside of his SModcast family) in the future.

In childhood, Samantha had a Mary Katherine Gallagher-esque flair for the dramatic, as well as the same penchant for Lifetime original movies. And while she can still quote the entire monologue from A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story, her tastes in film have luckily changed. During an interview, director Tommy Wiseau once called her a “good reporter, but not that intimidating if we’re being honest.” She once lived in Chinatown and told her neighbor Jake to “forget it” so many times that he threatened to stop talking to her.

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