What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this shit late at night, what do you expect?

Today’s first shot has been fired by Blackbeard, as played by Ian McShane in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. He looks menacing and awesome. It’s as if someone at Disney said “Hey, we could get Ian McShane to play Blackbeard. Yes! That’s exactly the reason why we should make this movie.” I would accept that as a valid reason to make an otherwise pointless fourth film.

For a moment there, the world thought that the title of the next Bond film might be Red Sky at Night. But that turned out to be hogwash. The good news is that they are still making that next Bond film. I don’t care what they call it, I’m seeing it.

If you think Don Cheadle and War Machine have been curiously absent from all of the initial marketing for The Avengers, here’s your reason why: War Machine is gearing up for his own movie. According to the Iron Man 2 star, who is at Sundance promoting his latest film The Guard, Marvel already has a writer for the project.

A man who is both effortlessly funny and a constant reminder that Breaking Bad can’t come back soon enough, Bob Odenkirk has written a brand new warning label for the adult drank Four Loko. It’s priceless and not to be missed.

Another look at Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker running around in his Spidey suit come courtesy of a new set photo. In this episode, Spider-Man is running from or to something. Most likely he’s trying to run somewhere with less lighting, as his suit appears to be very bright and shiny.

Remember that crazy idea someone had about turning the popular game Angry Birds into a movie? Believe it or not, that idea is still hanging around. So strong in fact that it’s about to move into more serious stages as an animated TV show.

“[Tom Hardy] seems like he’s balls-out, doesn’t he? Like he really goes for it.He looked like a guy that was happy to go to extremes, to really push it. Looks like he could go the distance…” That’s Christian Bale talking to Empire about his new Dark Knight Rises co-star. I would tend to agree.

If young Alex Pettyfer isn’t careful, he may quickly become the Robert Pattinson of teen action films that absolutely no one cares about. He’s already got the hair. In addition to Beastly and I Am Number Four, Pettyfer is also reportedly in talks to star in the supernatural flick The Mortal Instruments. It’s about demon hunters. But it’s written for the teen crowd.

Speaking of Robert Pattinson, here’s the newly released title treatment for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. Oh em gee, oh em gee, oh em gee:

Are you ready to relive the high drama that was Julian Assange and the WikiLeaks situation? Too bad, because it appears to be happening. Andrew Flowers’ biography of the world’s most famous pale dude, “The Most Dangerous Man in the World,” is said to be the source for the project, which will cover Assange’s life all the way up the present day. I have to say, of all the biopics of people who struck it rich at the fame game on the web, Assange’s story will probably be the most interesting. It will also likely say more about the internet generation than The Social Network did. Hell, why not let Aaron Sorkin write this one, too. Just for kicks.

George Lucas is on Foursquare. As proof, we enter into evidence item 1b below:

Jeff Daniels, Piper Perabo and Noah Segan have joined the cast of Rian Johnson’s upcoming sci-fi flick Looper. The story will follow a group of killers who send bodies of their victims back in time. Because hey, it’s way cooler than dumping them in the river.

Yesterday we talked about Anvil director Sacha Gervasi directing an Alfred Hitchcock biopic. Today we have word that Anthony Hopkins may be in talks to fill the great director’s silhouette. It wouldn’t be a bad choice, as Hopkins is skilled, seasoned actor, but it would be an uninspired choice.

We close tonight’s column, as I always do, with a video. This is a newly released short from The Jim Henson Company. Newly released, but not newly shot. In fact, it’s a 1966 test commercial that Jim Henson made for General Foods Canada. Check out those rad snack foods. Why can’t we bring these back?


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