Jason Segel to Star in Heist Movie With Major Breakfast Implications


Just days after the final suspect has been arrested in connection with one of the most massive maple syrup heists in Canada’s history, Sony Pictures has acquired the rights to a pitch that will turn the whole story into a comedy starring Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The Muppets star Jason Segel.

Let’s back up and look a little bit closer at the story that’s inspiring this tale though, because despite what Hollywood might think, syrup thievery is no laughing matter. Especially to Canadians. Anne Sutherland of the “Montreal Gazette” was the first journalist to break the story that, between the dates of August 1, 2011 and July 20, 2012, a gang of sticky-fingered syrup thieves had siphoned off the contents of 16,000 45 gallon barrels of maple syrup that were being stored in a warehouse located in Saint-Louis-de-Blandford, which is about 95 kilometers southwest of Quebec City. In total, the thieves were said to be knee-deep in $20 million worth of sticky brown. After over a year of manhunts and investigation, all 20 of the sweet-toothed culprits have now been apprehended, and two-thirds of the syrup has been recovered. Perhaps that’s the happy ending that’s going to finally allow us all to laugh at this dangerous series of events.

The news that this syrup heist is being turned into a Segel-starring comedy comes from Deadline, and they also have the scoop that the script for the film is being penned by longtime Family Guy writer Chris Sheridan, and Identity Thief  helmer Seth Gordon is on board to direct. Hopefully these men’s talents will prove deft enough to allow us to laugh even as we’re confronted with the terror of possibly having to eat dry pancakes. Or, at least, having to pay ridiculously inflated black market prices in order to keep our waffles drippy.

This early in the game the film has yet to have an official title, so probably it would be a good idea that we start brainstorming possibilities. Would Syrup… means Rififi! be appropriate, or should we go with something punnier?

Weaned on the genre films of the 80s. Reared by the independent movement of the 90s. Earned a BA for writing stuff in the 00s. Reviews current releases at

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