Katherine Heigl

My home state of Texas has a lot going for it, but every time it’s in the news, Janet Reno is blowing up cult buildings or polygamist camps are being raided. The latest, Warren Jeffs’s FLDS compound that was raided just a few months ago, is now the subject of a memoir by one of the women he imprisoned.

In the true fashion of giving things time to heal, Hollywood will be adapting that memoir for the big screen as soon as possible, and throwing Katherine Heigl into the starring role. For extra laughs, they’re letting her produce, too.

I’m sure that the production squad of Escape was thinking “Oscar Bait” when they acquired the rights to the book by Carolyn Jessop – sort of a reverse version of Witness maybe? – but this thing sounds like a made-for-TV movie to me. And not HBO, award-deserving, made-for-television either. More like, made-for-Lifetime-Television-for-Women.

And don’t get me wrong – I’d love to see a strong woman protagonist escaping a life-threatening, torturous situation. But I don’t want to see Heigl doing it. There’s just something way too cartoonish about her dramatic acting, and an over-the-top job is going to ruin a heartbreaking project like this.

Add onto that the news that she formally declined the Emmy nomination process this year. Taking yourself that seriously as an actor is a good sign that you aren’t that talented.

Maybe I’m being overly harsh on this one, but I can’t help but envision the slow-motion, desperate, over the shoulder looks of Heigl while she stands in a wheat field and whatever director they get channels his inner Peter Weir and Ridley Scott. That, Rejects, is a look that will haunt you.

Sources: Variety for the filmness, Dlisted for the gossip. That’s right, I read Dlisted. Wanna fight about it?

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