Jonah Hill and Michael Cera in Superbad

Normally, I’m very straightforward in writing news stories and for FSR articles, I throw in a little of my opinion. But here, I’m going all out. I’m talking about a Robert Fure ‘Boiling Point,’ Kevin Carr ‘WTF’ rant.

Retards, excuse me, directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans) are back at it again, already planning their next parody. So which movies will feel the wrath? According to Moviehole, Superbad along with this summer’s Hancock, Sex and the City, and The Love Guru are among the unfortunate victims, but will you be among the unfortunate viewers.

Wait a minute. Superbad? They’re spoofing a sex comedy? Allow me to borrow a line from Carr: What the double fuck? It just goes to show the amount of vision, creativity and imagination these two bastards have, which would be none. Seriously, their scripts are handed to them on a platter because they are straight from other movies. Can’t they at least come up with some decent jokes? I’d like to see them try and get someone to laugh at an actor trying to mock McLovin. Christopher Mintz-Plasse created a true original character, so whoever they find to play him will fail miserably. What I’d really like to see after this giant pile of vomit comes out is for Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen to lash back and make a spoof out of Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. Now that would be a sight!

The only good thing these two shitheads filmmakers are good for is giving me hope that I can someday make it in Hollywood. Here we have two guys with absolutely no talent who should be flipping burgers somewhere, making more money than you or I probably ever will just by turning out one piece of shit spoof movie after another. They actually made $25 million dollars on opening weekend with Meet the Spartans! $25 million fucking dollars! That’s more than enough to fund their next catastrophe.

So this is where I turn my voice toward you, the reader. These guys can and must be stopped. All it takes is one box office flop to put them in their place. Okay, maybe two because it wouldn’t surprise anyone if these persistent cockroaches failed to learn their lesson after the first time.

Perhaps it is the general public that should have learned their lesson the first, or second time around. Was Date Movie funny? No. Was Epic Movie funny? No, it was ten times worse. But did that stop millions from completely wasting their money on Meet the Spartans? Did people actually walk into the theater thinking that this might be better than their previous two efforts? If so, it’s a phenomenon that boggles the mind.

You can put an end to the cancerous plague they are spreading into the multiplexes just by doing your part. All you have to do is stay at home and avoid their movie. I realize that in the dirges of January, it can be tempting, but seriously, go to fucking Blockbuster if you absolutely have to see a movie for that weekend.

I personally have had enough. If I want to give away my hard earned money to retards, I’ll donate it to charity. Okay, maybe I’ll stop right there. Maybe I’m getting too carried away. As Fure would say, I’m way past my boiling point on this one.

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