Luke Evans in Dracula Untold

Universal Pictures

If you thought you knew the story of Dracula, think again, because Luke Evans is here to drop a truth bomb with the untold story of the world’s most legendary bloodsucker. Haven’t you ever wondered exactly how and why Dracula became the night walking, fanged, tower dwelling monster who haunted your nightmares and cluttered the aisles of your local Halloween superstore? (No? Could you please play along?)

The first trailer for Dracula Untold, brought to us by director Gary Shore, makes no qualms about diving right into the action of an ancient and mysterious war. Vlad Tepes (Evans, of The Hobbit) is a masterful fighter who’s always been a hero, but he doesn’t want his son to get involved, so he must figure out how to stop the madness before it gets out of hand. Naturally, this entails hiking up the most treacherous cliff face known to man and seeking the guidance of a creature who looks not unlike Voldemort.

Drinking his blood, as it turns out, transforms him into an unstoppable machine of warfare and apparently a great lover, but it also makes him the titular vampire we know and fear: he’s Dracula, and the army that’s trying to fight him is going to sorely regret that they went up against him.

Um, anyone who has ever watched even a single episode of True Blood knows that drinking a vampire’s blood won’t actually turn you into a vampire; it just makes you a little sexually confused and thirsty and allows them to know where you are at all times. Simple stuff like that. So either the trailer is leaving out the critical bite scene (and Vlad is just very confused about what’s causing his bodily changes), or the rest of us have something new to worry about — you can just turn into a vampire, no teeth required.

Down from the mountain, the trailer is a sight to behold. Friends, if you were looking to fill the emptiness that’s been left in your life since I, Frankenstein was in theaters, then perhaps this movie is for you. A handsome monster tormented by his duties between good and evil, a fearsome war that could very well decide the fate of humanity, Lorde covering ’80s ballads and dark desolate CGI landscapes.

And bats. Oh god, thousands and thousands of bats, swirling in tornadoes. Honestly, if you’re going to be the supreme vampire of all time, you really should have the power to summon a bat-related natural disaster.

Check out the trailer below:

Dracula Untold is in theaters October 17th.

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