Here they come again! Those cinematic geniuses who brought you Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans now plan to hit you smack in the face with Disaster Movie.
Let me note that when I use words like ‘geniuses’ and ‘fabulous’, I’m being sarcastic, using them as irony and dry wit in that little way I have. There is quite a cast in this new Disaster Movie. Luminaries of the acting world will strut their stuff, flex their acting muscles. Who are these giants of the silver screen? Carmen Electra! Yes, the Baywatch Babe is on the big screen.
Shall I tell you my Carmen Electra story? Of course I will.
The following is not based on a true story but is a true story, and I have the photographic evidence to prove it. My dog, Izzy, met Carmen Electra. Not only did Izzy meet the Baywatch Babe, but she posed with her for an issue of In Touch magazine. This was when Izzy was a youngster of six weeks, back in 2006. One of a litter of four orphans who were sent to hang out with Carmen in an adoption promotion.
Since then my dog has shown a obsessive interest in water. Carmen must have cast her spell on the pup. If ever anyone wants an interview with Ms. Electra I’ll have my dog call Carmen’s people. Now, please don’t get too excited, but Kim Kardashian is also in Disaster Movie. This is big news. Kim and Carmen together. Think about it. Jane Fonda only got to work with her father Henry, shortly before he died. Michael Douglas had to wait for years to work with his father Kirk. Spencer Tracy and Henry Fonda never got to work together at all. But in the prime of their careers Kim and Carmen are in a film together.
The film makers promise us that this movie will be filled with great disasters including asteroids, twisters and earthquakes. I’m hoping for some locusts and a really good hail storm. They also tell us that no one is sacred. There will be jabs at Indiana Jones and Iron Man. Clearly, this is a film packed with wacky, crazy goodness. The cast has been described in promotional materials as dynamic. Of course, I could wonder out loud, “if they’re so dynamic why are they in this film?”
I don’t know why they just don’t make a movie called Satire Movie and get it over with already. In case you need to know this, the film is written, directed and produced by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer and Peter Safran. Now, you go get your calendars out and mark August 29, 2008 on it. That is your date with Disaster Movie. Of course considering the price of gasoline you might want to just burn a ten dollar bill instead.
It will make a very pretty glow.