Anyone Want to Direct ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’?

As we all know, everyone seems to have an opinion about the Twilight series because having an opinion about it is fairly easy. Both the film and the books are ruining our cultural slowly by turning all of our young women into slutty prudes who are waiting until they marry a monster with living hair. I’m pretty sure that’s the opinion we settled on.

But with all those vitriolic opinions floating around – who here is willing to put their money where their mouth is and man or woman up to the task of directing the final film? Who of you will put away your negativity and show the class how it’s done?

According to Entertainment Weekly, Summit is currently looking to fill the position which means it’s high time to polish up your resume and turn it in.

Here’s who, apparently, you’ll be up against. Strap on your disbelief goggles.

  • Gus Van Sant – the director of Elephant, Good Will Hunting, and the highly anticipated Untitled Gus Van Sant Project, definitely knows his way around coming of age stories. If he’s chosen, it would be the best shot that audiences have of seeing all of the Twilight characters shot. How d’you like them apples?
  • Sofia Coppola – you’re expecting snark, but I think with the brooding, quiet boredom that pervades the other films, Sofia Coppola would be a perfect choice.
  • Bill Condon – The man directed Dreamgirls and Kinsey which were both fantastic in strikingly different ways. Taking on teen vampires would definitely be a new direction, but as with the others, the question is whether it’s beneath his talents or not.

Whoever gets the job to direct the vampire fetus attacking its mother (admit it, you just got interested in BreakingDawn), Summit has done it again. They’ve directed our attention to their production by making strange choices – just like hiring the guy who did 30 Days of Night and Dakota Fanning.

Summit knows what it’s doing. Even if all three directors balk at the offers, the damage has been done. We are now thinking about Oscar-caliber directors in the same breath as the Twilight series.

Let that one roll around in your mind awhile.

A little while longer. There. How does that feel?

A veteran of writing about movies for nearly a decade, Scott Beggs has been the Managing Editor of Film School Rejects since 2009. Despite speculation, he is not actually Walter Mathau's grandson. See? He can't even spell his name right.

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