Up to this point I haven’t been all that excited about the upcoming remake of Conan the Barbarian. All of the ads have made it look like a pretty generic swordplay film that could sit alongside the B-level stuff I’d watch on cable as a kid on Sunday afternoons. But then, on last week’s episode of Game of Thrones, we got a great fight scene where Conan star Jason Momoa gleefully slit a guy’s throat and then reached in and pulled out all of his neck guts and his tongue and stuff. It really whetted my appetite to see Momoa slash some more stuff up. And coincidentally enough, now IGN brings us a red band trailer for Conan that gives us almost exclusively tons of that.
Momoa growls to us in this trailer that, “When a Barbarian feels thirst, it is a thirst for blood.” It’s a pretty sweet tag line, but it’s also backed up by constant images of Conan hacking and slashing his way through the countryside. This movie seems to be all swirling swords and fountains of the red, sticky stuff. At one point Conan even seems to get amorous when he sees a lady put a sword through a downed opponent’s skull. That’s the sort of dedication to bloodletting that I can get behind. And in addition to the blood showers, we also get a glimpse of burned villages, sacrificed virgins, and what seems to be a much larger scale recreation of the trash compactor scene from Star Wars. I’m still not 100% sold on this film, but the assurance that it will at least have a bunch of people getting chopped up in hard R-style has me feeling a lot more at ease about going to see it. If you’re not the squeamish type, check out the carnage for yourself.
Would you go see it?